I am only turned on by extremely violent, dominating sex in which I am the abused or the dominated. In movies and books, I am aroused by rape scenes and I find myself imagining that I am the victim. I have dealt with these issues ever since my youth - my very first sexual fantasies were of being publicly raped and mutilated, spectators laughing at my pain. I gather no satisfaction from socially accepted "normal" sex. In masturbation, I suffocate or choke myself to reach high levels of excitement. Effective, enjoyable foreplay consists of wrestling and verbal and physical abuse that can leave bruises for weeks. I know this isn't normal, and this desire to be completely dominated and mistreated interferes with several aspects of my life, especially my relationships - how do I ask a partner to abuse me, not just to be rough but to really cause me intense pain? Is there any way that I can rid myself of this socially unacceptable persistent desire and learn to find satisfaction from gentle, loving sex? If not, how do I reveal what I really want to people that I am with without freaking them out?
Celeste Celeste
http://community.mentalhelp.net/showthread.php?t=679
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