while having sex in the shower we had sex and she had to pee and i was really close, she i just told her to pee on me and when she did..... omg it was so hot and i finished very quickly there after, but now she was very close and i had to pee when she told me turn around is fair play and i should pee in her, and when i did she say that is was one of her best orgasms ever.
we have done this 7 or 8 times since and has been a huge turn on for us ever time we have done this though we do not do this every time just once ever few months. i guess i just want to know if any of you have ever done this before, and what were your feelings about it during and after wards?
i am 37 and my wife is 42 and neither one of us has ever done this with any one else before.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100711071842AAQoiwv
2011. június 16., csütörtök
How to Lick Pussy Like a Pro
A lot of men think they know how to lick pussy, but I'm sorry to tell you that many of you are misinformed. You may be surprised to learn that a large number of the women who come to me for sex coaching are dissatisfied with their sex lives because their men do not know how to satisfy them sexually.
These women tell me their men just don't know how to touch them, stimulate them or make them aroused in the manner they desire. Unfortunately, a lot of women never even discuss this issue with their lover. They just suffer in silence or lose interest in sex all together. However, many women tell me that when they try and talk to their man about this issue that he gets defensive, he just doesn't listen or he fails to see how important it is.
Additionally, when I talk with men that come to me for sex coaching, I often hear from that they don't understand what they're doing wrong, or what it is their woman needs. They often don't know how to navigate around the woman's anatomy and frequently don't know where key pleasure spots are or if they know where they are, they don't know what kind of stimulation is most pleasurable.
How to Lick Pussy
This problem exists for three main reasons. One of the primary reasons is that men have not learned their oral sex skills from an appropriate source. Many men rely on cheap porn videos to learn how to be a lover and this is a big mistake. Porn videos are made to stimulate the man's mind, not the woman's. They portray images and scenarios that are satisfying to the man, but leave a lot to be desired for the woman. Unfortunately most of what you see in the typical skin flick is not a realistic portrayal of what a woman enjoys and needs to reach satisfying orgasms. In case you didn't know, the women in pornos are faking it. You aren't going to learn how to lick pussy in the manner that is most satisfying for your woman.
The second reason is that when his woman tells him he's not satisfying her, the man takes it personally and feels inadequate. His ego gets hurt. He refuses to acknowledge that he might not be doing it right and isn't willing to learn.
Lastly, another contributing factor is that many women are not aware of their own needs. They only know that something isn't working right, but they don't know what it is. They don't know how to fix it. Many women don't understand how their own body works in regard to sexual arousal or they're afraid or embarrassed to say it out loud or show you.
The great news is that there is a very simple solution to all these problems. All you need to do is learn how to lick pussy like a pro and they will all disappear magically. If you educate yourself about the woman's anatomy and sexual needs then it won't matter if she doesn't understand it herself, you won't have to watch videos that teach you the wrong thing, and she'll be so satisfied with your spectacular oral lovemaking that she won't be complaining and you'll never feel inadequate or have a bruised ego.
Take matters into your own hands or the mouth as the case may be. Learn how to lick pussy from a reliable source and become an expert in the craft.
Three Pussy Licking Misconceptions
Three of the biggest misconceptions men hold in regard to licking pussy are in relation to the clitoris.
Don't bite the clitoris. For most women, biting of the clitoris is not pleasurable.
Don't suck the clitoris like a penis. A lot of men go after the clitoris in the manner that they like their penis sucked. This is not enjoyable for most women.
Don't go straight for the clitoris. Many men think the clitoris is where it's all at, but that's not the case. Take your time getting there and stimulate all areas of the pussy.
The most important point for men to know when learning how to lick pussy is that the clitoris requires special care and attention. You must know how to approach it in the proper manner or you may actually cause your woman discomfort. Develop the proper techniques and hone your skills carefully.
Additionally, you need to be aware that there is a lot more involved in bringing your woman to orgasm than just technique. Technique is essential, but there's a lot more to it than that. The woman is a complicated animal and a wise man knows that it is in his best interest to understand her as thoroughly as possible.
Why Do You Need to Know How to Lick Pussy?
You'll be perceived as a magnificent lover in your woman's eyes.
It's the supreme way to give your woman sexual pleasure.
Women have the most satisfying and intense orgasms through oral stimulation.
Most women can't achieve orgasm through intercourse.
When you give your woman exquisite pleasure and make her feel special, it increases her willingness to give you the oral sex that you desire so deeply.
You'll keep your woman's sexual desires alive and vibrant. You won't be hearing "I'm too tired, or I have a headache."
Learn how to lick pussy proficiently and you'll leave her weak in the knees and aching for more each time. She'll think you're the best lover she's ever had and that's exactly what you can learn in Lick by Lick.
Discover all the tips, techniques, positions and secrets for not only how to lick pussy, but to give your woman absolute pleasure in every day.
How to Lick Pussy
Lick by Lick
Great Sex Resources
http://www.smolderingembers.com/how-to-lick-pussy.html
These women tell me their men just don't know how to touch them, stimulate them or make them aroused in the manner they desire. Unfortunately, a lot of women never even discuss this issue with their lover. They just suffer in silence or lose interest in sex all together. However, many women tell me that when they try and talk to their man about this issue that he gets defensive, he just doesn't listen or he fails to see how important it is.
Additionally, when I talk with men that come to me for sex coaching, I often hear from that they don't understand what they're doing wrong, or what it is their woman needs. They often don't know how to navigate around the woman's anatomy and frequently don't know where key pleasure spots are or if they know where they are, they don't know what kind of stimulation is most pleasurable.
How to Lick Pussy
This problem exists for three main reasons. One of the primary reasons is that men have not learned their oral sex skills from an appropriate source. Many men rely on cheap porn videos to learn how to be a lover and this is a big mistake. Porn videos are made to stimulate the man's mind, not the woman's. They portray images and scenarios that are satisfying to the man, but leave a lot to be desired for the woman. Unfortunately most of what you see in the typical skin flick is not a realistic portrayal of what a woman enjoys and needs to reach satisfying orgasms. In case you didn't know, the women in pornos are faking it. You aren't going to learn how to lick pussy in the manner that is most satisfying for your woman.
The second reason is that when his woman tells him he's not satisfying her, the man takes it personally and feels inadequate. His ego gets hurt. He refuses to acknowledge that he might not be doing it right and isn't willing to learn.
Lastly, another contributing factor is that many women are not aware of their own needs. They only know that something isn't working right, but they don't know what it is. They don't know how to fix it. Many women don't understand how their own body works in regard to sexual arousal or they're afraid or embarrassed to say it out loud or show you.
The great news is that there is a very simple solution to all these problems. All you need to do is learn how to lick pussy like a pro and they will all disappear magically. If you educate yourself about the woman's anatomy and sexual needs then it won't matter if she doesn't understand it herself, you won't have to watch videos that teach you the wrong thing, and she'll be so satisfied with your spectacular oral lovemaking that she won't be complaining and you'll never feel inadequate or have a bruised ego.
Take matters into your own hands or the mouth as the case may be. Learn how to lick pussy from a reliable source and become an expert in the craft.
Three Pussy Licking Misconceptions
Three of the biggest misconceptions men hold in regard to licking pussy are in relation to the clitoris.
Don't bite the clitoris. For most women, biting of the clitoris is not pleasurable.
Don't suck the clitoris like a penis. A lot of men go after the clitoris in the manner that they like their penis sucked. This is not enjoyable for most women.
Don't go straight for the clitoris. Many men think the clitoris is where it's all at, but that's not the case. Take your time getting there and stimulate all areas of the pussy.
The most important point for men to know when learning how to lick pussy is that the clitoris requires special care and attention. You must know how to approach it in the proper manner or you may actually cause your woman discomfort. Develop the proper techniques and hone your skills carefully.
Additionally, you need to be aware that there is a lot more involved in bringing your woman to orgasm than just technique. Technique is essential, but there's a lot more to it than that. The woman is a complicated animal and a wise man knows that it is in his best interest to understand her as thoroughly as possible.
Why Do You Need to Know How to Lick Pussy?
You'll be perceived as a magnificent lover in your woman's eyes.
It's the supreme way to give your woman sexual pleasure.
Women have the most satisfying and intense orgasms through oral stimulation.
Most women can't achieve orgasm through intercourse.
When you give your woman exquisite pleasure and make her feel special, it increases her willingness to give you the oral sex that you desire so deeply.
You'll keep your woman's sexual desires alive and vibrant. You won't be hearing "I'm too tired, or I have a headache."
Learn how to lick pussy proficiently and you'll leave her weak in the knees and aching for more each time. She'll think you're the best lover she's ever had and that's exactly what you can learn in Lick by Lick.
Discover all the tips, techniques, positions and secrets for not only how to lick pussy, but to give your woman absolute pleasure in every day.
How to Lick Pussy
Lick by Lick
Great Sex Resources
http://www.smolderingembers.com/how-to-lick-pussy.html
How To Shave Genitals and Bum
Genitals: Since this is the number one reason people buy personal shavers, we’ll start here. The hair that grows down there, pubes, bush, and pubic hair are some of the terms used to describe hair found on your genitals. For shaving the labia, vagina, penis and scrotum, most people get scared due to how sensitive it is. With personal shavers and trimmers, there is piece of mind, as these are only meant to cut the hair, not the skin. As long as you take it slowly, pulling the skin taut for a more even surface, you will have silky smooth skin.
For the labia and vaginal areas, the hair grows in several different ways. You should divide the trimming into sections: pubis mound, one side of the labia, the other side and the inner labia. As this is usually a very damp area, wipe with a cloth to dry up moisture and use some powder to get any left over dampness. This will ensure a more even trim.
For the penis and scrotum, it is best if the penis is semi-erect, to help make all the hair visible. Again, the skin needs to be dry, so add a little powder to the hair you are trimming. Break the trimming into sections: pubic base, groin area, top of shaft, under the shaft and each scrotum. With the scrotum, it is very important to keep the skin tight, easily done by holding the base of the scrotum and working it like a balloon, one side tight then the other. As the hair doesn’t grow the same, you will be trimming individual hairs instead of sections. Go slowly.
The bum is another area that women don’t to admit to having hair on, and men have it everywhere. You may have to use a mirror unless you have a partner who is willing to help. For women it is usually a patch that is around the anus, easily trimmed and shaved (following the above instructions). For the men, it is best to break it down into sections. As you get nearer the anus, take once side at a time, pulling the skin as taut as possible.
After the hair has been trimmed down to stubble, the next step is using a foiled finishing shaver. Using a circular motion, pull the skin taut across all the sections. Use only light pressure, as this will help the finisher work the be
publish by http://www.ultimatepersonalshaver.com
For the labia and vaginal areas, the hair grows in several different ways. You should divide the trimming into sections: pubis mound, one side of the labia, the other side and the inner labia. As this is usually a very damp area, wipe with a cloth to dry up moisture and use some powder to get any left over dampness. This will ensure a more even trim.
For the penis and scrotum, it is best if the penis is semi-erect, to help make all the hair visible. Again, the skin needs to be dry, so add a little powder to the hair you are trimming. Break the trimming into sections: pubic base, groin area, top of shaft, under the shaft and each scrotum. With the scrotum, it is very important to keep the skin tight, easily done by holding the base of the scrotum and working it like a balloon, one side tight then the other. As the hair doesn’t grow the same, you will be trimming individual hairs instead of sections. Go slowly.
The bum is another area that women don’t to admit to having hair on, and men have it everywhere. You may have to use a mirror unless you have a partner who is willing to help. For women it is usually a patch that is around the anus, easily trimmed and shaved (following the above instructions). For the men, it is best to break it down into sections. As you get nearer the anus, take once side at a time, pulling the skin as taut as possible.
After the hair has been trimmed down to stubble, the next step is using a foiled finishing shaver. Using a circular motion, pull the skin taut across all the sections. Use only light pressure, as this will help the finisher work the be
publish by http://www.ultimatepersonalshaver.com
2011. június 15., szerda
9 Reasons Why Men Cheat
Men like Rep. Chris Lee, Jesse James and Tiger Woods had it all: talent, fame, money, and a beautiful family. Yet with everything to lose, they were accused of cheating on their wives. Why DO men stray? Here are 9 reasons…
Approximately 40% of men seek sexual satisfaction outside their relationships, estimates Kat Hertlein, Ph.D., professor of human development at the University of Nevada - Las Vegas and a marriage and family therapist.
That number hasn’t changed much since 1950, when the famous Kinsey sex study found that 50% of U.S. men cheat at some point in their marriages.
Why They Cheat
The No.1 reason: Men crave sexual “variety,” according to David Buss, professor of psychology at the University of Texas and author of The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating (BasicBooks).
“They’ve evolved the desire to be with different women,” he says.
That’s because it’s very simple for men to reproduce (one act of sex versus nine months of pregnancy for women), so to create as many offspring as possible they’re biologically programmed to mate with many women.
“The ‘payoff’ in reproductive currencies [kids] of a short-term mating strategy generally has been higher for men than women,” Buss says.
So after thousands of generations, “this has forged in the male brain a desire for sexual variety.”
Other top reasons men cheat? They’re unhappy with their mates - and extramarital sex is cheaper and easier to get these days, Buss says.
And "power wives" beware: Being married to a high-profile guy ups the odds he’ll wander.
“Women are attracted to men who have power and status, so public figures usually have plenty of opportunity,” Buss says.
Whether your guy is a political animal, an A-list celeb or just a cubicle-mate, his motivation to cheat is the same, according to one relationship expert.
“Ninety-nine percent of the time, there’s a simple reason why: boredom,” says Steve Santagati, author of The Manual: A True Bad Boy Explains How Men Think, Date and Mate – and What Women Can Do to Come Out on Top (Crown).
Whatever the reasons, cheaters give monogamous men (the majority) a bad name.
Why They Say They Cheat
Here are 9 excuses guys give for doing the extramarital mambo:
1. She ain’t what she used to be.
Like Adam, the typical man can’t resist the temptation of riper fruit, especially if the woman in his life has let herself go.
“If she got lazy or gained weight or just doesn’t take care of herself, a guy will start looking at other women,” Santagati says.
Women who want to keep their men on a short leash need to take a “good, hard look in the mirror,” he adds.
And men should do the same. He might be a complete slob and still be demanding perfection from her. “It’s the typical double standard.”
For their part, guys should also make an effort to rediscover the spark at home.
“Make her feel pretty, even if you’re lying,” he advises. “Tell her how beautiful she is and how much you appreciate it. It will make her feel sexy and she’ll want to make you happy.”
That attention can lead to a more satisfying sex life, agrees Sue Johnson, a professor of clinical psychology at the University of Ottawa and author of Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love (Little Brown and Company).
“All the evidence shows that when [women] feel safe and connected, you’re better at taking care of your partner.”
2. No one loves a ball buster.
Perhaps nothing will drive a married man into the arms of another woman faster than a nagging wife.
“She’s like a mosquito,” Santagati says. “He doesn’t want to have sex with her; he wants to [swat her away].”
The more viable option: hot sex with a more “understanding” woman.
Hogwash, says Steven Solomon, Ph.D., author of Intimacy After Infidelity: How to Rebuild & Affair-Proof Your Marriage (New Harbinger).
“[A woman] didn't do something that excuses cheating." Whatever the relationship dynamic, it’s not that healthy to begin with if it leads to infidelity, Solomon says.
3. She just doesn’t “get” me.
Men who cheat say they don’t feel understood by their mate. But it’s not always the woman. Mostly they’re either angry or afraid to connect.
“It’s easier for men to go outside the relationship than work it out with their partner,” says UNLV’s Hertlein. “We see this ‘triangulation’ a lot.”
A deep-seated fear of intimacy can be hard for some guys to overcome. And they’re more likely to cheat again, especially if they don’t go to couples therapy, Hertlein says.
4. It’s the thrill.
Most guys who have affairs are getting in touch with their inner caveman: They like to play with fire. “It adds a level of danger,” Santagati says, “and danger adds to the excitement.”
By keeping surprise and sizzle in your sex life, a woman can keep the home fires burning so hot that her man won’t have any reason to cheat.
But that's not the whole story. Solomon says men also cheat because of fear, loneliness or anger.
“The betraying partner's failure to deal with these feelings is what causes him to be unfaithful," he says.
5. Blame it on the “hunter.”
Often, married men who cheat can’t quite explain their motivation. They just find themselves compelled to bust out of their day-to-day routine in search of something new. It’s a primitive instinct that dates back to their role as hunter and gatherer – only this time, they’re hunting and gathering new women.
“Maybe he married too young,” Santagati says, “or he just feels as if he hasn’t seen everything.”
Women can protect themselves by getting wise to this behavior early in the relationship – and getting out.
Santagati suggests you can find out more about a man’s dating history by watching how he acts in a room full of gorgeous women.
If you can’t rein him in when your romance is new, you’ll never control him down the road when your life together is more settled. “The first three months are critical,” he says.
6. Biology, baby.
“It’s our biological nature to be with as many females as possible,” Santagati says.
“Once we’ve seen a woman naked several times, it becomes commonplace. It doesn’t matter if you’re Jessica Alba or Sienna Miller, we become accustomed to your body and want to experience something different – different lips, different body types. We’re only monogamous because we realize that love and friendship are more important than getting laid.”
But Juliet Williams, associate professor of women’s studies at UCLA disagrees. “No matter how stunningly high the number of male cheaters, we know it’s not biological,” she says. “There are still a higher percentage of men who are monogamous.”
Whether it’s evolution, biology or simple novelty, infidelity researchers agree that men do seek different sex partners. However, the decision whether to cheat is entirely in a man’s control.
“Most men don’t act on those desires because they don’t want to jeopardize social reputations or marriages,” says University of Texas’ Buss.
“Former President Jimmy Carter, for example, told an interviewer that he had ‘lust in his heart’ but as far as we knew, he never acted on it,” he says.
7. It’s just sex.
For most guys, sex and love are two entirely different things.
“We really believe, ‘I can still love my wife and want to have sex with other women.’ We separate it in our brains,” Santagati says.
That rationale allows guys to cheat guilt-free, with one notable exception:
“Any guilt that a man has after sex isn’t about the sex itself, it’s about the consequences,” Santagati says. “Will she be a stalker? Will my wife find out?
"If a guy is in a committed, monogamous relationship, he should ask himself one question before he cheats: Is it worth it? He should consider the worst-case scenario, meaning that his wife finds out and is now brokenhearted. Is it worth it?”
8. Not tonight, dear.
Let’s face it. Men want more sex than women.
So when their partner is tired from wrangling kids all day and unwilling to try new things, even the most loyal hubbies get bored and go looking for nookie.
More sexually permissive men who don’t have equally adventurous partners are also more apt to wander, says UNLV’s Hertlein.
Their sexual values are just not compatible.
9. Because we can.
OK, we’re guys, remember? It’s hard to resist temptation, especially when it’s at our fingertips.
Thanks to the Internet, it’s easier for men to cheat anytime, anywhere… while they’re watching TV or on the laptop in bed next to their sleeping wives.
“We’re not talking about penis and vaginas,” Hertlein says. “Cheating is defined as anything that breaches a relationship contract.”
“That includes “sexy communication and flirting that’s kept secret from your partner.”
Forgive and Forget?
Whether your man is having sex online or in a hotel room, should you take him back?
“We think of people who betray us as cads, bad people, immature,” Solomon says. “But most are normal folks who get lost in not taking care of themselves and their marriage.”
And if you forgive and forget, could he cheat again?
Despite guys’ excuses, the decision to cheat or stay faithful isn’t something women can control.
“Even if you’re the worse spouse on Earth, your partner can find better ways to deal with his unhappiness,” Solomon says. “You can't make someone cheat any more than you can make someone drink or abuse you.”
By The Lifescript Editorial Staff
http://www.lifescript.com/life/relationships/wreckage/6_reasons_why_men_cheat.aspx
Approximately 40% of men seek sexual satisfaction outside their relationships, estimates Kat Hertlein, Ph.D., professor of human development at the University of Nevada - Las Vegas and a marriage and family therapist.
That number hasn’t changed much since 1950, when the famous Kinsey sex study found that 50% of U.S. men cheat at some point in their marriages.
Why They Cheat
The No.1 reason: Men crave sexual “variety,” according to David Buss, professor of psychology at the University of Texas and author of The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating (BasicBooks).
“They’ve evolved the desire to be with different women,” he says.
That’s because it’s very simple for men to reproduce (one act of sex versus nine months of pregnancy for women), so to create as many offspring as possible they’re biologically programmed to mate with many women.
“The ‘payoff’ in reproductive currencies [kids] of a short-term mating strategy generally has been higher for men than women,” Buss says.
So after thousands of generations, “this has forged in the male brain a desire for sexual variety.”
Other top reasons men cheat? They’re unhappy with their mates - and extramarital sex is cheaper and easier to get these days, Buss says.
And "power wives" beware: Being married to a high-profile guy ups the odds he’ll wander.
“Women are attracted to men who have power and status, so public figures usually have plenty of opportunity,” Buss says.
Whether your guy is a political animal, an A-list celeb or just a cubicle-mate, his motivation to cheat is the same, according to one relationship expert.
“Ninety-nine percent of the time, there’s a simple reason why: boredom,” says Steve Santagati, author of The Manual: A True Bad Boy Explains How Men Think, Date and Mate – and What Women Can Do to Come Out on Top (Crown).
Whatever the reasons, cheaters give monogamous men (the majority) a bad name.
Why They Say They Cheat
Here are 9 excuses guys give for doing the extramarital mambo:
1. She ain’t what she used to be.
Like Adam, the typical man can’t resist the temptation of riper fruit, especially if the woman in his life has let herself go.
“If she got lazy or gained weight or just doesn’t take care of herself, a guy will start looking at other women,” Santagati says.
Women who want to keep their men on a short leash need to take a “good, hard look in the mirror,” he adds.
And men should do the same. He might be a complete slob and still be demanding perfection from her. “It’s the typical double standard.”
For their part, guys should also make an effort to rediscover the spark at home.
“Make her feel pretty, even if you’re lying,” he advises. “Tell her how beautiful she is and how much you appreciate it. It will make her feel sexy and she’ll want to make you happy.”
That attention can lead to a more satisfying sex life, agrees Sue Johnson, a professor of clinical psychology at the University of Ottawa and author of Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love (Little Brown and Company).
“All the evidence shows that when [women] feel safe and connected, you’re better at taking care of your partner.”
2. No one loves a ball buster.
Perhaps nothing will drive a married man into the arms of another woman faster than a nagging wife.
“She’s like a mosquito,” Santagati says. “He doesn’t want to have sex with her; he wants to [swat her away].”
The more viable option: hot sex with a more “understanding” woman.
Hogwash, says Steven Solomon, Ph.D., author of Intimacy After Infidelity: How to Rebuild & Affair-Proof Your Marriage (New Harbinger).
“[A woman] didn't do something that excuses cheating." Whatever the relationship dynamic, it’s not that healthy to begin with if it leads to infidelity, Solomon says.
3. She just doesn’t “get” me.
Men who cheat say they don’t feel understood by their mate. But it’s not always the woman. Mostly they’re either angry or afraid to connect.
“It’s easier for men to go outside the relationship than work it out with their partner,” says UNLV’s Hertlein. “We see this ‘triangulation’ a lot.”
A deep-seated fear of intimacy can be hard for some guys to overcome. And they’re more likely to cheat again, especially if they don’t go to couples therapy, Hertlein says.
4. It’s the thrill.
Most guys who have affairs are getting in touch with their inner caveman: They like to play with fire. “It adds a level of danger,” Santagati says, “and danger adds to the excitement.”
By keeping surprise and sizzle in your sex life, a woman can keep the home fires burning so hot that her man won’t have any reason to cheat.
But that's not the whole story. Solomon says men also cheat because of fear, loneliness or anger.
“The betraying partner's failure to deal with these feelings is what causes him to be unfaithful," he says.
5. Blame it on the “hunter.”
Often, married men who cheat can’t quite explain their motivation. They just find themselves compelled to bust out of their day-to-day routine in search of something new. It’s a primitive instinct that dates back to their role as hunter and gatherer – only this time, they’re hunting and gathering new women.
“Maybe he married too young,” Santagati says, “or he just feels as if he hasn’t seen everything.”
Women can protect themselves by getting wise to this behavior early in the relationship – and getting out.
Santagati suggests you can find out more about a man’s dating history by watching how he acts in a room full of gorgeous women.
If you can’t rein him in when your romance is new, you’ll never control him down the road when your life together is more settled. “The first three months are critical,” he says.
6. Biology, baby.
“It’s our biological nature to be with as many females as possible,” Santagati says.
“Once we’ve seen a woman naked several times, it becomes commonplace. It doesn’t matter if you’re Jessica Alba or Sienna Miller, we become accustomed to your body and want to experience something different – different lips, different body types. We’re only monogamous because we realize that love and friendship are more important than getting laid.”
But Juliet Williams, associate professor of women’s studies at UCLA disagrees. “No matter how stunningly high the number of male cheaters, we know it’s not biological,” she says. “There are still a higher percentage of men who are monogamous.”
Whether it’s evolution, biology or simple novelty, infidelity researchers agree that men do seek different sex partners. However, the decision whether to cheat is entirely in a man’s control.
“Most men don’t act on those desires because they don’t want to jeopardize social reputations or marriages,” says University of Texas’ Buss.
“Former President Jimmy Carter, for example, told an interviewer that he had ‘lust in his heart’ but as far as we knew, he never acted on it,” he says.
7. It’s just sex.
For most guys, sex and love are two entirely different things.
“We really believe, ‘I can still love my wife and want to have sex with other women.’ We separate it in our brains,” Santagati says.
That rationale allows guys to cheat guilt-free, with one notable exception:
“Any guilt that a man has after sex isn’t about the sex itself, it’s about the consequences,” Santagati says. “Will she be a stalker? Will my wife find out?
"If a guy is in a committed, monogamous relationship, he should ask himself one question before he cheats: Is it worth it? He should consider the worst-case scenario, meaning that his wife finds out and is now brokenhearted. Is it worth it?”
8. Not tonight, dear.
Let’s face it. Men want more sex than women.
So when their partner is tired from wrangling kids all day and unwilling to try new things, even the most loyal hubbies get bored and go looking for nookie.
More sexually permissive men who don’t have equally adventurous partners are also more apt to wander, says UNLV’s Hertlein.
Their sexual values are just not compatible.
9. Because we can.
OK, we’re guys, remember? It’s hard to resist temptation, especially when it’s at our fingertips.
Thanks to the Internet, it’s easier for men to cheat anytime, anywhere… while they’re watching TV or on the laptop in bed next to their sleeping wives.
“We’re not talking about penis and vaginas,” Hertlein says. “Cheating is defined as anything that breaches a relationship contract.”
“That includes “sexy communication and flirting that’s kept secret from your partner.”
Forgive and Forget?
Whether your man is having sex online or in a hotel room, should you take him back?
“We think of people who betray us as cads, bad people, immature,” Solomon says. “But most are normal folks who get lost in not taking care of themselves and their marriage.”
And if you forgive and forget, could he cheat again?
Despite guys’ excuses, the decision to cheat or stay faithful isn’t something women can control.
“Even if you’re the worse spouse on Earth, your partner can find better ways to deal with his unhappiness,” Solomon says. “You can't make someone cheat any more than you can make someone drink or abuse you.”
By The Lifescript Editorial Staff
http://www.lifescript.com/life/relationships/wreckage/6_reasons_why_men_cheat.aspx
.womens infidelity
Women's relationships today follow
a very predictable pattern:
They push men for commitment
They get what they want
They lose interest in sex
They become attracted to someone else
They start cheating
They become angry and resentful
They begin telling their partners that they need time apart
They blame their partners for their behavior...and eventually, after making themselves and everyone around them miserable for an indefinite, but usually, long period of time, they end their relationships or marriages.
If you're a male, like most other males, you would probably never suspect that your partner is cheating, not only because of your wife’s or girlfriend’s seeming disinterest in sex; but also because you have the belief that your wife or girlfriend is a “good girl.” Unfortunately, males are frequently left/divorced by their wives and girlfriends without ever knowing about their wives' and girlfriends' infidelities.
If you’re a female, like most other females, prior to cheating on your partner you always proclaimed yourself to be "not the type" who would ever cheat. However, also like most other females, after they have cheated, you're shocked and appalled by your behavior; but at the same time you can't stop cheating.
Women's relationships and marriages will continue to follow this same pattern unless we develop an accurate understanding of females ─ particularly in regard to their sexuality. In fact, after researching women's sexuality for more than ten years, I can honestly say that most of our societal beliefs about females are grossly distorted and many are completely erroneous.
The media has finally begun to acknowledge, albeit to a small degree, the widespread problem of female infidelity. Recently, several books and articles have attempted to explain why women are now cheating as much as men. However, none were successful in their attempt. All of them left out very important pieces to this extremely complicated puzzle. I believe the majority were simply unable to find all of the information necessary to figure out the problem. Although, I'm certain that some were just afraid to disclose certain key pieces of information because the truth, quite frankly, is so contrary to our current beliefs. Unfortunately, without these missing pieces, it's impossible to understand, and to subsequently fix, the real problem occurring in relationships today.
My story:
Shortly after my 27th birthday, I began to feel very different. I had been happily married for 4 years and then, suddenly out of nowhere, I began feeling bored and unhappy. In an attempt to figure out what was causing my unhappiness, I looked for answers in books, tried to talk to my Mother and eventually went to see a psychologist. All of the information I received attributed the way I was feeling to my husband, and similar to the majority of women, I began to view my husband as the culprit too.
Currently, women are initiating 70 - 75% of all divorces
Later, through my own research, I discovered that what I was experiencing was quite normal. In fact, women are the most likely to divorce in their late twenties and thirties after an average of 4 years of marriage. During this time, it's quite common for women to experience a pre-midlife crisis, which is similar to the male midlife crisis, only with an important difference - a difference that can actually make women more likely to cheat than men.
The "stages" that women often experience during the course of their long-term relationships
Several years into my research I was able to identify distinctive patterns and behaviors in the women I interviewed. I categorized these into four separate “stages” that women often experience during the course of their long-term relationships. The stages begin with a loss of sexual desire.
Stage 1
Women at Stage 1 feel as though something is missing in their lives. They have all the things that they wanted—a home, a family, a great husband—but they feel they should be happier. Over time, many women in this stage begin to lose interest in sex. It is not uncommon for them to spend a great deal of energy trying to avoid physical contact with their husbands because they fear it might lead to a sexual encounter. They frequently complain of physical ailments to avoid having sex and often try to avoid going to bed at the same time as their husbands. They view sex as a job, not unlike doing the dishes or going to the grocery store. Some women in Stage 1 claim they feel violated when their husbands touch them. Their bodies freeze up and they feel tightness in their chest and/or a sick feeling in their stomach. The majority of women in Stage 1 feel as though there is something wrong with them, that they are in some way defective. They are also fearful that their disinterest in sex will cause their husbands to cheat, or worse yet, leave them.
Stage 2
Women at Stage 2 experience reawakened desire stimulated by an encounter outside the marital relationship. Whether these encounters with a "new" man involves sex or remain platonic, women will typically give a tremendous amount of emotional significance to these encounters.
Many women in this stage haven't felt any sexual desire for a long time. Many experience tremendous guilt and regret, regardless of whether their new relationships are sexual, merely emotional, or both. Most begin to experience what could be termed an identity crisis—even those who try to put the experience behind them. Constant reminders are everywhere. They feel guilt when the topic of infidelity arises, whether in the media, in conversations with family and friends, or at home with their husbands. Women in this stage can no longer express their prior disdain for infidelity without feeling like a hypocrite. They feel as though they have lost a part of themselves. Reflecting society’s belief that women are either “good” or “bad,” women will question their “good girl” status and feel that they might not be deserving of their husbands. Many will try to overcome feelings of guilt by becoming more attentive toward and appreciative of their husbands. However, over time many women will move from appreciation to justification. In order to justify their continued desire for other men, women will begin to attribute these desires to needs that are not being met in their marriage, or to their husband’s past behavior. Many women will become negative and sarcastic when speaking of their husbands and their marriages and it is not uncommon for an extramarital affair to follow.
Stage 3
Women at Stage 3 are involved in affairs, ending affairs, or contemplating divorce. Women who are having affairs experience feelings unlike anything they have experienced before. They feel “alive” again and many believe they have found their soul mates. These women are experiencing feelings associated with a chemically altered state, or what is typically referred to as being in love.
These women are also typically in tremendous pain, the pain of choosing between their husbands and their new love interests. They typically believe that what they are doing is wrong and unfair to their husbands, but yet are unable to end their affairs. Many often try several times. Prior to meeting with their lovers, they will vow that it will be the last time, but they are unable to stick with their decisions.
Unable to end their extramarital relationships, women at Stage 3 conclude that their lovers are soul mates because they are unaware that they have become addicted to the high caused by chemicals released during the initial stages of a relationship. Many live in a state of limbo for years. “Should I stay married or should I get a divorce?” this is the question continuously on the minds of women at Stage 3 - it is also common for women at this stage to attempt to initiate a separation. In most cases, husbands of women at Stage 3, will launch futile attempts to make their wives happy by being more attentive, spending more time at home and helping out around the house. Regardless of women’s past and present complaints, the last thing women at Stage 3 want, is to spend more time with their husbands.
The reason many women will give for their desire to separate is a “search for self.” They convince their husbands that they might be able to save their marriage if they can just have time to themselves. They tell their husbands that time apart is the only hope of improving their current situation. Women at this stage want to free themselves of the restrictions of marriage and spend more time with their lovers. Most think that eventually their confusion will disappear. They think they will eventually know with certainty whether they want to stay married or get divorced and be with their lovers. Separation allows women at this stage, to enjoy the high they experience with their lovers without giving up the security of their marriages. Husbands of Stage 3 women are often unaware that their wives are having affairs. Their lack of suspicion is typically due to their wife’s disinterest in sex and in their belief that their wife is a “good girl.”
Women at Stage 3 may also be experiencing the ending of an extramarital affair, and the ending may not have been their decision. They may have been involved with single men who either lost interest because the relationship could not progress or who became attracted to another women who was single. Women whose affairs are ending often experience extreme grief. They may become deeply depressed and express tremendous anger toward their husbands. They are typically unaware that they are experiencing chemical withdrawal due to sudden changes in their brain chemistry. As a result, many will feel that they have missed their chance at happiness due to their indecisiveness.
Believing they have become more aware of what they want and need from a mate, women at this stage will often place the utmost importance on finding a "new" relationship that will give them the feeling they experienced in their affairs. A new relationship with a new partner will also represent a clean slate, a chance for these women to regain their “good girl” status. Some women will search for new partners during their separations. Others will return to their marriages, but not emotionally and still continue to search. Some women will resume sporadic sexual relations with their husbands in an effort to safeguard their marriage until they make a decision. Although they are often not sexually attracted to their husbands, desire is temporarily rekindled when they suspect their husbands are unfaithful, are contemplating infidelity, or when their husbands show signs of moving on.
Stage 4
The women in stage four included those who chose to stay married and continue their affairs and those who chose to divorce. Some of the women who continued their affairs stated that marital sex was improved by maintaining the extramarital relationship. Some thought the lover was a soul mate, but for one reason or another did not leave their husband and did not feel torn between the two. Others realized that their feelings were intensified by not sharing day-to-day living arrangements with their lover. Almost all of the women in this latter category were having affairs with married men. They believed their affairs could continue indefinitely without disrupting either partner’s primary relationship.
The women who chose divorce and were in the beginning stages of a new relationship typically expressed relief at having finally made a decision and reported feeling normal again. Many of the divorced women who had remarried and were several years into their new marriages seemed somewhat reluctant to talk about the specifics of their past experiences. However, they did mention feelings of guilt and regret for having hurt their children and ex-spouses only to find themselves experiencing similar feelings in the new relationship.
Female infidelity will not only continue to be extremely common but it will also continue to be on the rise women's infidelity
Women are cheating and relationships are ending because men and women lack necessary information. Today's relationship problems are not only solvable, but many can be easily solved ─ once you understand what the real problem is. The information in Women's Infidelity should be common knowledge to couples, both married and unmarried, and to dating males and females. Trying to have a relationship today without the information in this book is like to trying to read without knowing the letters of the alphabet. This is not an exaggeration ─ it's a fact.
Reviews and Letters from Readers
"I have been reading your book all week and have found it to be completely insightful and clarifying. I have been married for 7 years and have a 3 year old at home. I have not engaged in an affair but over but over the last few months have definitely considered looking for it...Thank you for sharing your wisdom. I feel clearer now than I have for a long time. I know my whole family is going to benefit from this information."
Katie Little
"...chapter [2], alone, is worth the US cover price...what is here is impressive..."
Donna Dillman, GRIP Magazine
"I just happened across your website today and what I've found is truly enlightening. As a psychologist I did have occasion to study marriage and marriage counseling to some degree but my primary interest has always been in working with children and adolescents. Clearly there is a significant absence of information such as yours being disseminated to graduating psychologists in training. Having been down the marital breakup path, I can also clearly attest to the accuracy of your conclusions...I do thank-you for writing such an insightful and informative book and will share it with my numerous friends who are currently experiencing similar marital challenges, as well as some of my professional colleagues who are more directly involved in working with couples..."
Dr. D
I wish to congratulate you...yours is by far the most razor-sharp study of female infidelity ever done. Ever. And that’s not hyperbole...
Richard James
"I can’t thank you enough for publishing your book, which I downloaded and last night read cover to cover until 2:30am. What struck me was that many times in the book, you described my wife’s behavior – right on down to verbatim quotes – and mine in frighteningly accurate detail. I have a better understanding of what has happened. Her relationship did not get physical, but it would have eventually, I’m sure. Understanding why is a huge part of forgiving her...I’ve made more progress with your book in a few hours than we have with a therapist in 6 weeks. With any luck, you may have been a major factor in saving our marriage. Thank you, thank you, thank you."
A loving, and... less confused, husband
"I just read your book cover to cover. Two sittings... much of it with... my wife. We can never thank you enough. I believe it was key to saving our marriage."
Keith Vaughn
Before reading your book, I had been living in limbo for almost two years. I was so confused and I felt like I was going crazy. I even went to a psychologist to try and figure out what was wrong with me. I had just about given up all hope and then I heard you on the radio talking about your book. Thank you so much for writing this book. For the first time in a long time I finally feel like I'm getting back to normal again."
Justine Pace
"I heard you on the radio and I thought you may have some answers for me since I had just caught my wife cheating. I was wondering why this was happening so I ordered your book. I received your book the other day and read it cover to cover. I was amazed. It seemed to be written about my marriage."
Tom Brickner, Los Angeles
"Women's Infidelity is a MUST read for EVERY heterosexual male and female. Both are at a disadvantage in their relationships without having this information."
Thomas Astor, New York
Women's Infidelity: Living In Limbo Explains:
Why females push males for commitment
Why females "think" they're naturally monogamous and why males think so too
Why women can't tell men what they really want
Why women like getting married but not being married
Why women lose sexual desire for their husbands and what women really do want sexually
Why women are more likely than men to become addicted to affair sex
Why marriage and fidelity can actually be MORE difficult for women than it is for men
Why women overwhelmingly initiate the majority of all divorces - even when they're married to men who love and treat them well
Why and how men unknowingly make the problem worse by doing exactly the opposite of what they need to do in order to fix the problem
Women's Infidelity II : Breaking Out of Limbo Explains:
How to get clear about what you're really doing
How to understand your feelings for your husband - what it really means when you say, "I love him, but I'm not "in" love with him
How to know if your feelings for the "other man" are real
How to know if there's a possibility for a future with the other man
How to stop your circular thinking
How to end your confusion and move forward in 7 clearly defined steps
Limbo is one of the most painful experiences we can go through in our relationships. I've interviewed several hundred people in this situation and I've also been there myself. When I was going through it, I felt like I had an ailment, a condition of some sort. At the time, I just knew I had something and whatever it was, it wasn't normal.
For several reasons, which I explain in my book, infidelity and marital limbo are quickly becoming the norm for women and, as I've already pointed out, women are also initiating 70 - 75% of all divorces.
I sincerely believe that the information in Women's Infidelity is crucial for both males and females, regardless of their relationship status. Furthermore, I also believe that it would be a mistake to end a relationship prior to reading this book.
─ Michelle Langley
More Letters from Readers
"This is the most honest book about women I’ve ever read. In so many ways, how we think, feel and behave is a mystery, even to us women. I applaud Michelle Langley for her willingness to say what nobody else has the courage to say."
Candice Billings, MS
"Your book was more informative than all the counseling that I have had in the past year."
Ashley Baxter
"I don't know how I can ever thank you. Your book saved my marriage. After I read it I had my wife read it. My wife and I have now not only reconciled but we also have a much more honest relationship."
Mark Brennin
"Thank you for bringing everything into focus. It took guts to put this information out there and I can't thank you enough for doing it. "
Allissa Misloch
"What I find so disturbing is that I could have been in counseling for another 10 years and I still would not have learned anything about what I learned from your books. I am grateful to you for putting this information out there for people like me who have been hurting and confused for so long."
Julie Heckner
-Michelle Langley, author of Women's Infidelity
http://www.womensinfidelity.com/
a very predictable pattern:
They push men for commitment
They get what they want
They lose interest in sex
They become attracted to someone else
They start cheating
They become angry and resentful
They begin telling their partners that they need time apart
They blame their partners for their behavior...and eventually, after making themselves and everyone around them miserable for an indefinite, but usually, long period of time, they end their relationships or marriages.
If you're a male, like most other males, you would probably never suspect that your partner is cheating, not only because of your wife’s or girlfriend’s seeming disinterest in sex; but also because you have the belief that your wife or girlfriend is a “good girl.” Unfortunately, males are frequently left/divorced by their wives and girlfriends without ever knowing about their wives' and girlfriends' infidelities.
If you’re a female, like most other females, prior to cheating on your partner you always proclaimed yourself to be "not the type" who would ever cheat. However, also like most other females, after they have cheated, you're shocked and appalled by your behavior; but at the same time you can't stop cheating.
Women's relationships and marriages will continue to follow this same pattern unless we develop an accurate understanding of females ─ particularly in regard to their sexuality. In fact, after researching women's sexuality for more than ten years, I can honestly say that most of our societal beliefs about females are grossly distorted and many are completely erroneous.
The media has finally begun to acknowledge, albeit to a small degree, the widespread problem of female infidelity. Recently, several books and articles have attempted to explain why women are now cheating as much as men. However, none were successful in their attempt. All of them left out very important pieces to this extremely complicated puzzle. I believe the majority were simply unable to find all of the information necessary to figure out the problem. Although, I'm certain that some were just afraid to disclose certain key pieces of information because the truth, quite frankly, is so contrary to our current beliefs. Unfortunately, without these missing pieces, it's impossible to understand, and to subsequently fix, the real problem occurring in relationships today.
My story:
Shortly after my 27th birthday, I began to feel very different. I had been happily married for 4 years and then, suddenly out of nowhere, I began feeling bored and unhappy. In an attempt to figure out what was causing my unhappiness, I looked for answers in books, tried to talk to my Mother and eventually went to see a psychologist. All of the information I received attributed the way I was feeling to my husband, and similar to the majority of women, I began to view my husband as the culprit too.
Currently, women are initiating 70 - 75% of all divorces
Later, through my own research, I discovered that what I was experiencing was quite normal. In fact, women are the most likely to divorce in their late twenties and thirties after an average of 4 years of marriage. During this time, it's quite common for women to experience a pre-midlife crisis, which is similar to the male midlife crisis, only with an important difference - a difference that can actually make women more likely to cheat than men.
The "stages" that women often experience during the course of their long-term relationships
Several years into my research I was able to identify distinctive patterns and behaviors in the women I interviewed. I categorized these into four separate “stages” that women often experience during the course of their long-term relationships. The stages begin with a loss of sexual desire.
Stage 1
Women at Stage 1 feel as though something is missing in their lives. They have all the things that they wanted—a home, a family, a great husband—but they feel they should be happier. Over time, many women in this stage begin to lose interest in sex. It is not uncommon for them to spend a great deal of energy trying to avoid physical contact with their husbands because they fear it might lead to a sexual encounter. They frequently complain of physical ailments to avoid having sex and often try to avoid going to bed at the same time as their husbands. They view sex as a job, not unlike doing the dishes or going to the grocery store. Some women in Stage 1 claim they feel violated when their husbands touch them. Their bodies freeze up and they feel tightness in their chest and/or a sick feeling in their stomach. The majority of women in Stage 1 feel as though there is something wrong with them, that they are in some way defective. They are also fearful that their disinterest in sex will cause their husbands to cheat, or worse yet, leave them.
Stage 2
Women at Stage 2 experience reawakened desire stimulated by an encounter outside the marital relationship. Whether these encounters with a "new" man involves sex or remain platonic, women will typically give a tremendous amount of emotional significance to these encounters.
Many women in this stage haven't felt any sexual desire for a long time. Many experience tremendous guilt and regret, regardless of whether their new relationships are sexual, merely emotional, or both. Most begin to experience what could be termed an identity crisis—even those who try to put the experience behind them. Constant reminders are everywhere. They feel guilt when the topic of infidelity arises, whether in the media, in conversations with family and friends, or at home with their husbands. Women in this stage can no longer express their prior disdain for infidelity without feeling like a hypocrite. They feel as though they have lost a part of themselves. Reflecting society’s belief that women are either “good” or “bad,” women will question their “good girl” status and feel that they might not be deserving of their husbands. Many will try to overcome feelings of guilt by becoming more attentive toward and appreciative of their husbands. However, over time many women will move from appreciation to justification. In order to justify their continued desire for other men, women will begin to attribute these desires to needs that are not being met in their marriage, or to their husband’s past behavior. Many women will become negative and sarcastic when speaking of their husbands and their marriages and it is not uncommon for an extramarital affair to follow.
Stage 3
Women at Stage 3 are involved in affairs, ending affairs, or contemplating divorce. Women who are having affairs experience feelings unlike anything they have experienced before. They feel “alive” again and many believe they have found their soul mates. These women are experiencing feelings associated with a chemically altered state, or what is typically referred to as being in love.
These women are also typically in tremendous pain, the pain of choosing between their husbands and their new love interests. They typically believe that what they are doing is wrong and unfair to their husbands, but yet are unable to end their affairs. Many often try several times. Prior to meeting with their lovers, they will vow that it will be the last time, but they are unable to stick with their decisions.
Unable to end their extramarital relationships, women at Stage 3 conclude that their lovers are soul mates because they are unaware that they have become addicted to the high caused by chemicals released during the initial stages of a relationship. Many live in a state of limbo for years. “Should I stay married or should I get a divorce?” this is the question continuously on the minds of women at Stage 3 - it is also common for women at this stage to attempt to initiate a separation. In most cases, husbands of women at Stage 3, will launch futile attempts to make their wives happy by being more attentive, spending more time at home and helping out around the house. Regardless of women’s past and present complaints, the last thing women at Stage 3 want, is to spend more time with their husbands.
The reason many women will give for their desire to separate is a “search for self.” They convince their husbands that they might be able to save their marriage if they can just have time to themselves. They tell their husbands that time apart is the only hope of improving their current situation. Women at this stage want to free themselves of the restrictions of marriage and spend more time with their lovers. Most think that eventually their confusion will disappear. They think they will eventually know with certainty whether they want to stay married or get divorced and be with their lovers. Separation allows women at this stage, to enjoy the high they experience with their lovers without giving up the security of their marriages. Husbands of Stage 3 women are often unaware that their wives are having affairs. Their lack of suspicion is typically due to their wife’s disinterest in sex and in their belief that their wife is a “good girl.”
Women at Stage 3 may also be experiencing the ending of an extramarital affair, and the ending may not have been their decision. They may have been involved with single men who either lost interest because the relationship could not progress or who became attracted to another women who was single. Women whose affairs are ending often experience extreme grief. They may become deeply depressed and express tremendous anger toward their husbands. They are typically unaware that they are experiencing chemical withdrawal due to sudden changes in their brain chemistry. As a result, many will feel that they have missed their chance at happiness due to their indecisiveness.
Believing they have become more aware of what they want and need from a mate, women at this stage will often place the utmost importance on finding a "new" relationship that will give them the feeling they experienced in their affairs. A new relationship with a new partner will also represent a clean slate, a chance for these women to regain their “good girl” status. Some women will search for new partners during their separations. Others will return to their marriages, but not emotionally and still continue to search. Some women will resume sporadic sexual relations with their husbands in an effort to safeguard their marriage until they make a decision. Although they are often not sexually attracted to their husbands, desire is temporarily rekindled when they suspect their husbands are unfaithful, are contemplating infidelity, or when their husbands show signs of moving on.
Stage 4
The women in stage four included those who chose to stay married and continue their affairs and those who chose to divorce. Some of the women who continued their affairs stated that marital sex was improved by maintaining the extramarital relationship. Some thought the lover was a soul mate, but for one reason or another did not leave their husband and did not feel torn between the two. Others realized that their feelings were intensified by not sharing day-to-day living arrangements with their lover. Almost all of the women in this latter category were having affairs with married men. They believed their affairs could continue indefinitely without disrupting either partner’s primary relationship.
The women who chose divorce and were in the beginning stages of a new relationship typically expressed relief at having finally made a decision and reported feeling normal again. Many of the divorced women who had remarried and were several years into their new marriages seemed somewhat reluctant to talk about the specifics of their past experiences. However, they did mention feelings of guilt and regret for having hurt their children and ex-spouses only to find themselves experiencing similar feelings in the new relationship.
Female infidelity will not only continue to be extremely common but it will also continue to be on the rise women's infidelity
Women are cheating and relationships are ending because men and women lack necessary information. Today's relationship problems are not only solvable, but many can be easily solved ─ once you understand what the real problem is. The information in Women's Infidelity should be common knowledge to couples, both married and unmarried, and to dating males and females. Trying to have a relationship today without the information in this book is like to trying to read without knowing the letters of the alphabet. This is not an exaggeration ─ it's a fact.
Reviews and Letters from Readers
"I have been reading your book all week and have found it to be completely insightful and clarifying. I have been married for 7 years and have a 3 year old at home. I have not engaged in an affair but over but over the last few months have definitely considered looking for it...Thank you for sharing your wisdom. I feel clearer now than I have for a long time. I know my whole family is going to benefit from this information."
Katie Little
"...chapter [2], alone, is worth the US cover price...what is here is impressive..."
Donna Dillman, GRIP Magazine
"I just happened across your website today and what I've found is truly enlightening. As a psychologist I did have occasion to study marriage and marriage counseling to some degree but my primary interest has always been in working with children and adolescents. Clearly there is a significant absence of information such as yours being disseminated to graduating psychologists in training. Having been down the marital breakup path, I can also clearly attest to the accuracy of your conclusions...I do thank-you for writing such an insightful and informative book and will share it with my numerous friends who are currently experiencing similar marital challenges, as well as some of my professional colleagues who are more directly involved in working with couples..."
Dr. D
I wish to congratulate you...yours is by far the most razor-sharp study of female infidelity ever done. Ever. And that’s not hyperbole...
Richard James
"I can’t thank you enough for publishing your book, which I downloaded and last night read cover to cover until 2:30am. What struck me was that many times in the book, you described my wife’s behavior – right on down to verbatim quotes – and mine in frighteningly accurate detail. I have a better understanding of what has happened. Her relationship did not get physical, but it would have eventually, I’m sure. Understanding why is a huge part of forgiving her...I’ve made more progress with your book in a few hours than we have with a therapist in 6 weeks. With any luck, you may have been a major factor in saving our marriage. Thank you, thank you, thank you."
A loving, and... less confused, husband
"I just read your book cover to cover. Two sittings... much of it with... my wife. We can never thank you enough. I believe it was key to saving our marriage."
Keith Vaughn
Before reading your book, I had been living in limbo for almost two years. I was so confused and I felt like I was going crazy. I even went to a psychologist to try and figure out what was wrong with me. I had just about given up all hope and then I heard you on the radio talking about your book. Thank you so much for writing this book. For the first time in a long time I finally feel like I'm getting back to normal again."
Justine Pace
"I heard you on the radio and I thought you may have some answers for me since I had just caught my wife cheating. I was wondering why this was happening so I ordered your book. I received your book the other day and read it cover to cover. I was amazed. It seemed to be written about my marriage."
Tom Brickner, Los Angeles
"Women's Infidelity is a MUST read for EVERY heterosexual male and female. Both are at a disadvantage in their relationships without having this information."
Thomas Astor, New York
Women's Infidelity: Living In Limbo Explains:
Why females push males for commitment
Why females "think" they're naturally monogamous and why males think so too
Why women can't tell men what they really want
Why women like getting married but not being married
Why women lose sexual desire for their husbands and what women really do want sexually
Why women are more likely than men to become addicted to affair sex
Why marriage and fidelity can actually be MORE difficult for women than it is for men
Why women overwhelmingly initiate the majority of all divorces - even when they're married to men who love and treat them well
Why and how men unknowingly make the problem worse by doing exactly the opposite of what they need to do in order to fix the problem
Women's Infidelity II : Breaking Out of Limbo Explains:
How to get clear about what you're really doing
How to understand your feelings for your husband - what it really means when you say, "I love him, but I'm not "in" love with him
How to know if your feelings for the "other man" are real
How to know if there's a possibility for a future with the other man
How to stop your circular thinking
How to end your confusion and move forward in 7 clearly defined steps
Limbo is one of the most painful experiences we can go through in our relationships. I've interviewed several hundred people in this situation and I've also been there myself. When I was going through it, I felt like I had an ailment, a condition of some sort. At the time, I just knew I had something and whatever it was, it wasn't normal.
For several reasons, which I explain in my book, infidelity and marital limbo are quickly becoming the norm for women and, as I've already pointed out, women are also initiating 70 - 75% of all divorces.
I sincerely believe that the information in Women's Infidelity is crucial for both males and females, regardless of their relationship status. Furthermore, I also believe that it would be a mistake to end a relationship prior to reading this book.
─ Michelle Langley
More Letters from Readers
"This is the most honest book about women I’ve ever read. In so many ways, how we think, feel and behave is a mystery, even to us women. I applaud Michelle Langley for her willingness to say what nobody else has the courage to say."
Candice Billings, MS
"Your book was more informative than all the counseling that I have had in the past year."
Ashley Baxter
"I don't know how I can ever thank you. Your book saved my marriage. After I read it I had my wife read it. My wife and I have now not only reconciled but we also have a much more honest relationship."
Mark Brennin
"Thank you for bringing everything into focus. It took guts to put this information out there and I can't thank you enough for doing it. "
Allissa Misloch
"What I find so disturbing is that I could have been in counseling for another 10 years and I still would not have learned anything about what I learned from your books. I am grateful to you for putting this information out there for people like me who have been hurting and confused for so long."
Julie Heckner
-Michelle Langley, author of Women's Infidelity
http://www.womensinfidelity.com/
Sex Tips on How to Have a One-Night Stand
Some women are looking to go wild for a night. Here's how to find them and make it happen
By Nicole Beland, Posted Date: August 1, 2005
Here's what I remember about the best one-night stand of my life: everything but his name. He was a bartender-slash-actor who rode a beat-up motorcycle, but I didn't find that out until after his jeans came off. It started in a bar. He sat down next to my girlfriend and me—we were having a giggly girls' night out—stared in the other direction, and didn't say a word.
After 10 minutes, he asked if I would watch his stuff while he went outside to make a call. When he came back, he grimaced like De Niro and thanked me very politely. By that point, I was already curious about whom he had called, what was in his faded leather bag, and why he wouldn't smile. So I asked if he was having a bad day. Within a couple of hours, we were naked in bed together. And then he was gone.
To this day, I have to admire how smooth he was, because great one-night stands are tough to pull off. Plenty can go wrong between the first long look and the next-day e-mail. This is what you need to know to do it exactly right. You can thank me in the morning.
Where to Find Her
Weddings, for one. "Seeing two people completely in love, combined with an open bar, always gets my hormones raging," says my friend Katie, who admits to slipping out of her sister's reception with a member of the catering staff. Other events and places that rev up the female libido include vacations, holidays, birthday bashes (especially our own), dance clubs, balmy summer nights, and disastrous incidents (personal or global) that inspire us to seize the moment as well as the nearest man.
Don't look here: Work events can buzz with sexual tension, but few women are willing to taint their professional reputations by giving the office something to snicker about. Dinner parties are too proper, and family get-togethers are out of the question. No girl thinks about sex when Uncle Nick's butt cracks a smile every time he reaches for a bocce ball.
How She Acts
A girl with naked Twister on her mind is usually trying to be noticed. "If I want to hook up, I'll be at the bar, on the dance floor, and frequently circling the room trying to make eye contact with a hot guy," says my friend Sophie. Look for the women who are clearly out to have fun, who are laughing their butts off, who are dancing on the dirty side, and who keep glancing around the room to see who glances back. There's no guarantee that they're out to get laid, but there's no harm in introducing yourself and finding out.
Walk away: That girl in the corner, sipping Shiraz? Not in the mood to make out with a stranger.
What She Wants
Women like to be pursued, but in the land of one-night stands, most of us prefer to play the seductress. It's our way of turning the stereotypical one-nighter paradigm on its head—taking "advantage" of the man for a change.
Let her lead: Stow your witty pickup line. You're better off with something straightforward, like "Hi, I'm Jeff." "A hookup is the one time a girl will judge a guy 95 percent by his looks," says Katie. But relax, that doesn't have to mean flawless looks: "A great smile and muscular shoulders can be very persuasive." Work your warm vibe and back it up with stylish (but not too slick) clothes, direct eye contact, and a clean, manly scent. Linger in her vicinity, respond when she flirts. But, for the first few stages, let her take the lead.
What You Want
If you want to call yourself a gentleman—and ward off any chance that your hookup will start phoning you 50 times a day—make this clear: You're not looking for a girlfriend. "All a guy has to do is make it clear that he's far too busy for a relationship these days, or that he loves being single," says Sophie. "That way he eliminates any idea a girl might have that their one night of fun will lead to anything more substantial." No doubt the woman is perfectly aware of this, but it's better to be clear than to be called a bastard.
Manage expectations: Your declaration must happen long before your pants hit the floor. Otherwise, she might fall for you somewhere between the first kiss and the final thrust.
When You Know
How can you tell if the game is on? It's when she suggests—or agrees with your suggestion—that you go to another bar (that quieter one down the road). Here's how the woman's mind is working, as explained by Katie: "It brings you one step closer to going home together, but provides a little buffer that makes the whole thing feel more in control."
Shut up and kiss her: Once you've reached the new, preferably dark and loungey locale, the first kiss is only a drink away. "I love it when a guy leans very close to me and pauses," says Sophie. "Then we both come in for the kiss." Thus begins a long and hot public display of affection, after which one of you will ask if you should go someplace private.
How to Behave (Or Not)
Your best bet is to go to her place, not yours. She'll be more comfortable, and you'll have the option of splitting before dawn. Small talk is a buzz kill; compliments are okay. Tell her that she's beautiful and incredibly sexy, then let the kissing and undressing begin—as in the second you walk through the door. You're both in this for the sex, so make it adventurous.
Just do it: Use a condom, of course, and no spanking, backdoor entry, kinky toys, or uncomfortable positions (unless she makes a specific request). Go with the standard stuff, plus plenty of enthusiastic squeezing, licking, sucking, stroking, rubbing, moaning, and maybe even a little pinching.
When to Leave
Ask her straight out whether she wants you to stay the night or make yourself scarce.
Tell the truth: Tell her you had a great time. Don't say, "I'll call you," or, "Maybe we can see each other again," if it isn't true. And if you want to earn a spot on her booty-call list—or be the type of one-night wonder she might recommend to a friend—send her a single e-mail the next day saying that last night was amazing and that she should feel free to contact you if she ever wants to "do it" again.
By Nicole Beland, Posted Date: August 1, 2005
http://www.menshealth.com
By Nicole Beland, Posted Date: August 1, 2005
Here's what I remember about the best one-night stand of my life: everything but his name. He was a bartender-slash-actor who rode a beat-up motorcycle, but I didn't find that out until after his jeans came off. It started in a bar. He sat down next to my girlfriend and me—we were having a giggly girls' night out—stared in the other direction, and didn't say a word.
After 10 minutes, he asked if I would watch his stuff while he went outside to make a call. When he came back, he grimaced like De Niro and thanked me very politely. By that point, I was already curious about whom he had called, what was in his faded leather bag, and why he wouldn't smile. So I asked if he was having a bad day. Within a couple of hours, we were naked in bed together. And then he was gone.
To this day, I have to admire how smooth he was, because great one-night stands are tough to pull off. Plenty can go wrong between the first long look and the next-day e-mail. This is what you need to know to do it exactly right. You can thank me in the morning.
Where to Find Her
Weddings, for one. "Seeing two people completely in love, combined with an open bar, always gets my hormones raging," says my friend Katie, who admits to slipping out of her sister's reception with a member of the catering staff. Other events and places that rev up the female libido include vacations, holidays, birthday bashes (especially our own), dance clubs, balmy summer nights, and disastrous incidents (personal or global) that inspire us to seize the moment as well as the nearest man.
Don't look here: Work events can buzz with sexual tension, but few women are willing to taint their professional reputations by giving the office something to snicker about. Dinner parties are too proper, and family get-togethers are out of the question. No girl thinks about sex when Uncle Nick's butt cracks a smile every time he reaches for a bocce ball.
How She Acts
A girl with naked Twister on her mind is usually trying to be noticed. "If I want to hook up, I'll be at the bar, on the dance floor, and frequently circling the room trying to make eye contact with a hot guy," says my friend Sophie. Look for the women who are clearly out to have fun, who are laughing their butts off, who are dancing on the dirty side, and who keep glancing around the room to see who glances back. There's no guarantee that they're out to get laid, but there's no harm in introducing yourself and finding out.
Walk away: That girl in the corner, sipping Shiraz? Not in the mood to make out with a stranger.
What She Wants
Women like to be pursued, but in the land of one-night stands, most of us prefer to play the seductress. It's our way of turning the stereotypical one-nighter paradigm on its head—taking "advantage" of the man for a change.
Let her lead: Stow your witty pickup line. You're better off with something straightforward, like "Hi, I'm Jeff." "A hookup is the one time a girl will judge a guy 95 percent by his looks," says Katie. But relax, that doesn't have to mean flawless looks: "A great smile and muscular shoulders can be very persuasive." Work your warm vibe and back it up with stylish (but not too slick) clothes, direct eye contact, and a clean, manly scent. Linger in her vicinity, respond when she flirts. But, for the first few stages, let her take the lead.
What You Want
If you want to call yourself a gentleman—and ward off any chance that your hookup will start phoning you 50 times a day—make this clear: You're not looking for a girlfriend. "All a guy has to do is make it clear that he's far too busy for a relationship these days, or that he loves being single," says Sophie. "That way he eliminates any idea a girl might have that their one night of fun will lead to anything more substantial." No doubt the woman is perfectly aware of this, but it's better to be clear than to be called a bastard.
Manage expectations: Your declaration must happen long before your pants hit the floor. Otherwise, she might fall for you somewhere between the first kiss and the final thrust.
When You Know
How can you tell if the game is on? It's when she suggests—or agrees with your suggestion—that you go to another bar (that quieter one down the road). Here's how the woman's mind is working, as explained by Katie: "It brings you one step closer to going home together, but provides a little buffer that makes the whole thing feel more in control."
Shut up and kiss her: Once you've reached the new, preferably dark and loungey locale, the first kiss is only a drink away. "I love it when a guy leans very close to me and pauses," says Sophie. "Then we both come in for the kiss." Thus begins a long and hot public display of affection, after which one of you will ask if you should go someplace private.
How to Behave (Or Not)
Your best bet is to go to her place, not yours. She'll be more comfortable, and you'll have the option of splitting before dawn. Small talk is a buzz kill; compliments are okay. Tell her that she's beautiful and incredibly sexy, then let the kissing and undressing begin—as in the second you walk through the door. You're both in this for the sex, so make it adventurous.
Just do it: Use a condom, of course, and no spanking, backdoor entry, kinky toys, or uncomfortable positions (unless she makes a specific request). Go with the standard stuff, plus plenty of enthusiastic squeezing, licking, sucking, stroking, rubbing, moaning, and maybe even a little pinching.
When to Leave
Ask her straight out whether she wants you to stay the night or make yourself scarce.
Tell the truth: Tell her you had a great time. Don't say, "I'll call you," or, "Maybe we can see each other again," if it isn't true. And if you want to earn a spot on her booty-call list—or be the type of one-night wonder she might recommend to a friend—send her a single e-mail the next day saying that last night was amazing and that she should feel free to contact you if she ever wants to "do it" again.
By Nicole Beland, Posted Date: August 1, 2005
http://www.menshealth.com
Women's Sex Fantasies
What women told us about their sexual fantasies
Edited by Jamie Bellavance, Posted Date: January 15, 2010
So you wanna get kinky, eh? We put out a survey on Cosmopolitan.com, asking the ladies if they'd be game for putting a little variety into their sex lives. Here's what they told us...
Would she ever be up for...
Light bondage (having her hands restrained, being blindfolded, and/or being spanked)
Yes: 68% If handcuffs are too awkward, use a pair of her pantyhose...
No: 7%
Exhibitionism (sex or being exposed in public)
Yes: 11%
No: 29%
Videotaping sex
Yes: 29%
No: 33% She doesn't want to end up on nakedchics.com...
Sex toys during sex
Yes: 50% Something new to play with!
No: 13% There's only one toy she needs. And you're already wearing it.
Role-playing
Yes: 41%
No: 17%
Which of the following have you ever tried?
57% - Light Bondage
30% - Exhibitionism
15% - Videotaping
33% - Sex Toys
23% - Role Playing
31% - None of the Above
How did the situation come about?
21% It started as a joke, but later it intensified.
17% He just initiated during sex without talking about it.
16% She initiated a conversation prior to having sex.
How would you have liked it to come about?
27% He just initiated during sex without talking about it.
24% He initiated a conversation prior to having sex.
2% We were drunk and I'm not really sure how it happened.
What did you think about your experience?
67% It was erotic and something we continue to do.
21% It's something best saved for special occasions.
7% It was fun as a onetime thing.
3% It was just a goof.
2% It was awkward and unpleasant.
"A woman has a more erotic mind than a man," says sexologist Robert Birch, Ph.D. "A man is more likely to say, ‘Yeah, I want to have sex, let's get into it.' A woman is more likely to say, ‘Yeah, I want to talk dirty.' Women are more into the theater, the romance, and the drama surrounding sex, rather than just the act."
Of women who've had kinky sex: Do you believe non-traditional sex can help your sex life?
Yes: 93%
No: 7%
Just be warned: "This type of stuff should be recreational. If it starts to get to the point where you can't have sex unless you break out the handcuffs, women can start to feel objectified," says Mark Elliot, Ph.D., director of the Sexuality and Psychology Institute at the Institute for Psychological and Sexual Health, in Columbus, Ohio.
Of women who've had kinky sex: Do you believe non-traditional sex can help your relationship?
Yes: 85%
No: 15%
"It's fun, it's exciting, it's novel," says Carol Queen, Ph.D., staff sexologist for sex-toy purveyor Good Vibrations. It also forces you to talk more about what you like and what you don't
—a skill many couples have yet to master.
Of women who've never had kinky sex: Do you believe non-traditional sex can help your sex life?
Yes: 89%
No: 11%
Of women who've never had kinky sex: Do you believe non-traditional sex can help your relationship?
Yes: 76%
No: 24%
Are you interested in trying any of these: Light bondage, exhibitionism, videotaping, sex toys, or role-playing?
Yes: 89% Keep her on her toes...or in any position for that matter...
No: 11% Not her bag of tricks.
What would you think if your boyfriend or husband suggested trying any of these?
70% I'd be game to try it.
22% I'd be excited.
6% I wouldn't mind his asking, but I'd turn him down.
1% I'd be disgusted.
1% I'd think something was wrong with our sex life.
What's the best way for him to bring it up?
40% of women who haven't yet tried kinky sex say you should bring it up in casual conversation.
30% say you should just go for it during sex, no words necessary.
17% say after a few drinks.
9% say as a joke.
Go with the plurality on this. "Both you and your partner need to understand that the fantasy may be more exciting than the reality," says Birch. "It's important to discuss it beforehand so there are no unpleasant surprises."
Edited by Jamie Bellavance, Posted Date: January 15, 2010
http://www.menshealth.com
Edited by Jamie Bellavance, Posted Date: January 15, 2010
So you wanna get kinky, eh? We put out a survey on Cosmopolitan.com, asking the ladies if they'd be game for putting a little variety into their sex lives. Here's what they told us...
Would she ever be up for...
Light bondage (having her hands restrained, being blindfolded, and/or being spanked)
Yes: 68% If handcuffs are too awkward, use a pair of her pantyhose...
No: 7%
Exhibitionism (sex or being exposed in public)
Yes: 11%
No: 29%
Videotaping sex
Yes: 29%
No: 33% She doesn't want to end up on nakedchics.com...
Sex toys during sex
Yes: 50% Something new to play with!
No: 13% There's only one toy she needs. And you're already wearing it.
Role-playing
Yes: 41%
No: 17%
Which of the following have you ever tried?
57% - Light Bondage
30% - Exhibitionism
15% - Videotaping
33% - Sex Toys
23% - Role Playing
31% - None of the Above
How did the situation come about?
21% It started as a joke, but later it intensified.
17% He just initiated during sex without talking about it.
16% She initiated a conversation prior to having sex.
How would you have liked it to come about?
27% He just initiated during sex without talking about it.
24% He initiated a conversation prior to having sex.
2% We were drunk and I'm not really sure how it happened.
What did you think about your experience?
67% It was erotic and something we continue to do.
21% It's something best saved for special occasions.
7% It was fun as a onetime thing.
3% It was just a goof.
2% It was awkward and unpleasant.
"A woman has a more erotic mind than a man," says sexologist Robert Birch, Ph.D. "A man is more likely to say, ‘Yeah, I want to have sex, let's get into it.' A woman is more likely to say, ‘Yeah, I want to talk dirty.' Women are more into the theater, the romance, and the drama surrounding sex, rather than just the act."
Of women who've had kinky sex: Do you believe non-traditional sex can help your sex life?
Yes: 93%
No: 7%
Just be warned: "This type of stuff should be recreational. If it starts to get to the point where you can't have sex unless you break out the handcuffs, women can start to feel objectified," says Mark Elliot, Ph.D., director of the Sexuality and Psychology Institute at the Institute for Psychological and Sexual Health, in Columbus, Ohio.
Of women who've had kinky sex: Do you believe non-traditional sex can help your relationship?
Yes: 85%
No: 15%
"It's fun, it's exciting, it's novel," says Carol Queen, Ph.D., staff sexologist for sex-toy purveyor Good Vibrations. It also forces you to talk more about what you like and what you don't
—a skill many couples have yet to master.
Of women who've never had kinky sex: Do you believe non-traditional sex can help your sex life?
Yes: 89%
No: 11%
Of women who've never had kinky sex: Do you believe non-traditional sex can help your relationship?
Yes: 76%
No: 24%
Are you interested in trying any of these: Light bondage, exhibitionism, videotaping, sex toys, or role-playing?
Yes: 89% Keep her on her toes...or in any position for that matter...
No: 11% Not her bag of tricks.
What would you think if your boyfriend or husband suggested trying any of these?
70% I'd be game to try it.
22% I'd be excited.
6% I wouldn't mind his asking, but I'd turn him down.
1% I'd be disgusted.
1% I'd think something was wrong with our sex life.
What's the best way for him to bring it up?
40% of women who haven't yet tried kinky sex say you should bring it up in casual conversation.
30% say you should just go for it during sex, no words necessary.
17% say after a few drinks.
9% say as a joke.
Go with the plurality on this. "Both you and your partner need to understand that the fantasy may be more exciting than the reality," says Birch. "It's important to discuss it beforehand so there are no unpleasant surprises."
Edited by Jamie Bellavance, Posted Date: January 15, 2010
http://www.menshealth.com
2011. június 14., kedd
Why I chose to be an escort
I know that will be the first question, even though i think everyone already knows the answer. I chose to work as an escort because i needed to make money fast. I still call it a choice, even though my choices at the time were either make money fast, or end up losing my house and being homeless with my children.
I have three children, I was never married, and I do not receive child support.
I know i fit into a stereotype, that is to be expected, but I really am not.
I don't drink, Ive never used drugs.
My children are so loved, and well provided for. They get tons of affection, praise, and understanding. I had my children young, my first at 18, and I have devoted my life to them, because I adore them.
I owned an at home business that did well, and allowed me to provide for them and still be home with them.
And then, as life will, things turned. My business hit hard times, and I had just bought a house. My longtime boyfriend and I broke up. I couldn't afford everything all at once. If i had gotten a "regular" job, by the time I paid a sitter and traveled to work, i would not have made any bring home money.
Yes, I could have immediately sold the house, stayed with a friend, something, but my business was out of my home, and i did not want to lose that and make things worse.
I had a friend who worked as an escort- I had known she worked and treated her with kindness but never liked thinking about what she did. I was clueless to that side of the world.
I was innocent.
Its funny and sad to look back now at how much innocence i lost that year.
Anyway, i hit bottom, she brought me in. I made my mortgage payment and I hated myself. But i was hopeful. If i had made that much money that quickly, then i could do it again and pay off some of the bills that had been looming.
And so I did.
And that is what happens, you get pulled in, you bond with others who work and understand what and why you are doing it. You hide what you do from everyone else.
You hate yourself, you hate the customers who purchase you, but you feel good that you are making it.
There is a new song out by Wyclef_ "Sweetest Girl" - There is a line in the song, " She takes the loss cause she don't want to see her child lose"
And also Cityhigh " What would you do?"- "What would you do if your son was at home, crying all alone on the bedroom floor cause he's hungry, and the only way to feed him is to sleep with a man for a little bit of money"
Its so true
A mother will do anything for her child
Even give up herself
And I did
Posted by Amber
http://beinganescort.blogspot.com/2008/03/why-i-chose-to-be-escort.html
I have three children, I was never married, and I do not receive child support.
I know i fit into a stereotype, that is to be expected, but I really am not.
I don't drink, Ive never used drugs.
My children are so loved, and well provided for. They get tons of affection, praise, and understanding. I had my children young, my first at 18, and I have devoted my life to them, because I adore them.
I owned an at home business that did well, and allowed me to provide for them and still be home with them.
And then, as life will, things turned. My business hit hard times, and I had just bought a house. My longtime boyfriend and I broke up. I couldn't afford everything all at once. If i had gotten a "regular" job, by the time I paid a sitter and traveled to work, i would not have made any bring home money.
Yes, I could have immediately sold the house, stayed with a friend, something, but my business was out of my home, and i did not want to lose that and make things worse.
I had a friend who worked as an escort- I had known she worked and treated her with kindness but never liked thinking about what she did. I was clueless to that side of the world.
I was innocent.
Its funny and sad to look back now at how much innocence i lost that year.
Anyway, i hit bottom, she brought me in. I made my mortgage payment and I hated myself. But i was hopeful. If i had made that much money that quickly, then i could do it again and pay off some of the bills that had been looming.
And so I did.
And that is what happens, you get pulled in, you bond with others who work and understand what and why you are doing it. You hide what you do from everyone else.
You hate yourself, you hate the customers who purchase you, but you feel good that you are making it.
There is a new song out by Wyclef_ "Sweetest Girl" - There is a line in the song, " She takes the loss cause she don't want to see her child lose"
And also Cityhigh " What would you do?"- "What would you do if your son was at home, crying all alone on the bedroom floor cause he's hungry, and the only way to feed him is to sleep with a man for a little bit of money"
Its so true
A mother will do anything for her child
Even give up herself
And I did
Posted by Amber
http://beinganescort.blogspot.com/2008/03/why-i-chose-to-be-escort.html
My First Time Having Sex
I had convinced myself I was completely ready. I had been in a relationship for almost three months and at the age of 20 was quite a late bloomer to all things sexual. I had never been naked in front of a boyfriend, had never let anyone touch me sexually, apart from some frenzied boob play every now and again. My boyfriend at the time, on the other hand, boasted about how young he was when he lost his virginity, about how many girls he’d had, about the reputation he’d built up as a player. He mocked men who weren’t as casual in their attitude towards sex and women. Despite all this, I believed him when he told me that he loved me, that he was desperate to ‘show me’ how much he loved me, that he was going out of his mind not being able to consummate our relationship.
We had been dancing around the issue of sex from the get go. He was eager and I was too, albeit shy. Without telling him I went to the university sanatorium and picked up three months worth of the contraceptive pill. I didn’t let on that I was thinking about sleeping with him, I didn’t want to say anything until I was sure. I wanted to wait until I thought we were solid, until we were in love.
This was important to me, given my background. I had been born to missionary parents – the type of Christians who were so fervent in their faith that they followed a nomadic lifestyle, devoting their career paths and their family life to God. One of the key tenants of this lifestyle was that sex was exclusively for marriage – anything more than kissing prior to the wedding day was deemed sinful. Following my parents’ guidelines closely up until I left home meant that I only had my first kiss at age 16 and my virginity was something that I guarded preciously.
When I went to university however, a lot of this slipped by the wayside. My parents’ religion suddenly became relegated to exactly that – my parents’ religion. I was exposed to new ideas, new theories, new people and new lifestyles. I kissed boys, got drunk and had fun. Somewhere in the middle of my second year I met S, the person I was to lose my virginity to. (I hate that expression – I didn’t lose my virginity, I very deliberately gave it.)
We were ill-suited. He was into drugs, raving and generally trying to be anti-establishment and difficult, I was into cider, partying with my friends and trying to please people.
I didn’t even find him that sexually attractive – I remember thinking that I would get used to the way he looked. So what on earth was the attraction?
The fact that he found me attractive. For a girl like me, with a sheltered upbringing who’d only kissed a handful of boys and slept with none, the fact that a boy such as him, a boy with clear sexual prowess wanted me was a heady self-esteem booster. Twisted but true.
We went out for almost three months: him groaning about his growing sexual frustration as time went on. I felt under pressure to sleep with him, yes, but I also felt excited about the whole thing. One night, after we’d been out we came back to his res room as we usually did. This time however, I told him that I was ready. Well, as ready as I was ever going to be.
For all his supposed experience, he wasn’t a particularly reassuring, gentle or giving lover. About three minutes of foreplay, the condom went on – no lubrication – and in it went. The pain and discomfort were overwhelming. He tried to soothe me with words whilst he continued to thrust inside me, but we had to stop after what seemed forever but could only have been a few minutes. I rolled away from under him feeling sore, used and as if I had failed as a girlfriend to give him pleasure. He rolled away even more frustrated than before.
Our relationship fizzled out quite quickly after that – in a few weeks he dumped me, saying we were incompatible. The sex had gotten somewhat better in the run up to the break up, but it was never particularly great. He was as selfish in bed as he was in life and so I never really found it pleasurable.
Sadly, as he was more experienced than me I assumed this was my problem, that there was something wrong with me sexually. This misconception was quickly cleared up when I met the man who was to become my husband – a man who was more concerned with my pleasure than his own, and with whom sex became something I yearned for rather than something I avoided.
I don’t regret the way I lost my virginity. Even if it was painful, uncomfortable and to someone who didn’t really care for me. It was an important point in my sexual life – it reminds me how far I have come as a woman. Back then, in that time-warped, tiny little res room I wasn’t in charge of my sexuality and didn’t value myself highly enough to ask for what I wanted or hold my partner accountable for giving us both pleasure. I wasn’t an active participant: sex was something that was done to me, not something that we did.
Now, I am at ease with my own body and my sexuality. I can ask for what I want and give what he wants with equal ease and pleasure. It’s a true sexual partnership, and it feels great.
Posted on July 13, 2010 by Jen Thorpe
http://1sttime2010.wordpress.com/2010/07/13/my-first-time-having-sex/
We had been dancing around the issue of sex from the get go. He was eager and I was too, albeit shy. Without telling him I went to the university sanatorium and picked up three months worth of the contraceptive pill. I didn’t let on that I was thinking about sleeping with him, I didn’t want to say anything until I was sure. I wanted to wait until I thought we were solid, until we were in love.
This was important to me, given my background. I had been born to missionary parents – the type of Christians who were so fervent in their faith that they followed a nomadic lifestyle, devoting their career paths and their family life to God. One of the key tenants of this lifestyle was that sex was exclusively for marriage – anything more than kissing prior to the wedding day was deemed sinful. Following my parents’ guidelines closely up until I left home meant that I only had my first kiss at age 16 and my virginity was something that I guarded preciously.
When I went to university however, a lot of this slipped by the wayside. My parents’ religion suddenly became relegated to exactly that – my parents’ religion. I was exposed to new ideas, new theories, new people and new lifestyles. I kissed boys, got drunk and had fun. Somewhere in the middle of my second year I met S, the person I was to lose my virginity to. (I hate that expression – I didn’t lose my virginity, I very deliberately gave it.)
We were ill-suited. He was into drugs, raving and generally trying to be anti-establishment and difficult, I was into cider, partying with my friends and trying to please people.
I didn’t even find him that sexually attractive – I remember thinking that I would get used to the way he looked. So what on earth was the attraction?
The fact that he found me attractive. For a girl like me, with a sheltered upbringing who’d only kissed a handful of boys and slept with none, the fact that a boy such as him, a boy with clear sexual prowess wanted me was a heady self-esteem booster. Twisted but true.
We went out for almost three months: him groaning about his growing sexual frustration as time went on. I felt under pressure to sleep with him, yes, but I also felt excited about the whole thing. One night, after we’d been out we came back to his res room as we usually did. This time however, I told him that I was ready. Well, as ready as I was ever going to be.
For all his supposed experience, he wasn’t a particularly reassuring, gentle or giving lover. About three minutes of foreplay, the condom went on – no lubrication – and in it went. The pain and discomfort were overwhelming. He tried to soothe me with words whilst he continued to thrust inside me, but we had to stop after what seemed forever but could only have been a few minutes. I rolled away from under him feeling sore, used and as if I had failed as a girlfriend to give him pleasure. He rolled away even more frustrated than before.
Our relationship fizzled out quite quickly after that – in a few weeks he dumped me, saying we were incompatible. The sex had gotten somewhat better in the run up to the break up, but it was never particularly great. He was as selfish in bed as he was in life and so I never really found it pleasurable.
Sadly, as he was more experienced than me I assumed this was my problem, that there was something wrong with me sexually. This misconception was quickly cleared up when I met the man who was to become my husband – a man who was more concerned with my pleasure than his own, and with whom sex became something I yearned for rather than something I avoided.
I don’t regret the way I lost my virginity. Even if it was painful, uncomfortable and to someone who didn’t really care for me. It was an important point in my sexual life – it reminds me how far I have come as a woman. Back then, in that time-warped, tiny little res room I wasn’t in charge of my sexuality and didn’t value myself highly enough to ask for what I wanted or hold my partner accountable for giving us both pleasure. I wasn’t an active participant: sex was something that was done to me, not something that we did.
Now, I am at ease with my own body and my sexuality. I can ask for what I want and give what he wants with equal ease and pleasure. It’s a true sexual partnership, and it feels great.
Posted on July 13, 2010 by Jen Thorpe
http://1sttime2010.wordpress.com/2010/07/13/my-first-time-having-sex/
My first webcam show with sex toys
In my apartment, I have very special box with various sex toys, which I use very often. I love being watched by some nice guy when I am masturbating front of the webcam. I like try with pleasure even very unusual sex toys. But my very first webcam "sex toy" experience was something very special for me and also for my customer. Things happened a little bit kinky at the first time. But it was the best play with sex toy ever.I have not only classic sex toys, but also very special one. I have these toys on my wooden shelf beside my bed, which is very handy when I want to do some pleasure to myself. My special webcam "sex toy" experience was happend not long ago. It was two months ago I guess.
Someday wrote me a new customer named Johnny82. He was very kind, he asked how many i have sex toys in my naughty inventory and how often I use them. So i typed, that I have 27 sex toys on my shelf and I use them almost daily. He wanted to see which toys are my favourite. So I showed him some big dildos and I asked him if he want to see, how I know to play with them. Then he clicked on private chat with me,it was very wise step from him:). Because when I find such a nice guy I want to chat with him in private. So when we were chatting couple of minutes and he wrote me what he want from me. He want classic striptease. Then he want to see, how I cuddle my nipples, belly and pussy with my the most favourite dildo. Of course I cuddle throught my clothes at first. Everything step by step. It was not need to be hurry. So when he asked, i undressed my black lace bra and I started to rub my enlarged nipples with my big red dildo and later I was going down to my pussy. I teased my clit and pussy through my panties. I was really horny. Then he wanted to see my naked ass and he gave me a question if I have some very special dildo which I can put into my asshole. Of course I had one special (and I still have). So I took it from shelf and I accidently threw down my old Ken. When I begun to play with my asshole using my special pink dildo I was starting be really wet. He tell me that he want to see something special from me and then I suddenly looked on my old Ken, which still lied on my bed. So I squatted and I put this very unusual sex toys into my wet pussy and I ranged very slowly because it was more exciting this way. Johnny was very horny I heard him how he breathed excitedly:). Then I put my pink dildo into my ass and I begun be really horny so I was sighing very loud and I cummed in few minutes. It was so good, because Ken had special shape which teased my pussy in amazing way. Johnny82 was very satisfied and I can do something similar for you too if you want! I am ready and you?:)
http://www.my-sexy-legs.com
Someday wrote me a new customer named Johnny82. He was very kind, he asked how many i have sex toys in my naughty inventory and how often I use them. So i typed, that I have 27 sex toys on my shelf and I use them almost daily. He wanted to see which toys are my favourite. So I showed him some big dildos and I asked him if he want to see, how I know to play with them. Then he clicked on private chat with me,it was very wise step from him:). Because when I find such a nice guy I want to chat with him in private. So when we were chatting couple of minutes and he wrote me what he want from me. He want classic striptease. Then he want to see, how I cuddle my nipples, belly and pussy with my the most favourite dildo. Of course I cuddle throught my clothes at first. Everything step by step. It was not need to be hurry. So when he asked, i undressed my black lace bra and I started to rub my enlarged nipples with my big red dildo and later I was going down to my pussy. I teased my clit and pussy through my panties. I was really horny. Then he wanted to see my naked ass and he gave me a question if I have some very special dildo which I can put into my asshole. Of course I had one special (and I still have). So I took it from shelf and I accidently threw down my old Ken. When I begun to play with my asshole using my special pink dildo I was starting be really wet. He tell me that he want to see something special from me and then I suddenly looked on my old Ken, which still lied on my bed. So I squatted and I put this very unusual sex toys into my wet pussy and I ranged very slowly because it was more exciting this way. Johnny was very horny I heard him how he breathed excitedly:). Then I put my pink dildo into my ass and I begun be really horny so I was sighing very loud and I cummed in few minutes. It was so good, because Ken had special shape which teased my pussy in amazing way. Johnny82 was very satisfied and I can do something similar for you too if you want! I am ready and you?:)
http://www.my-sexy-legs.com
My first Swingers club experience! Is it my last?
I would like to preface this blog by saying that I couldn't find it inme to tell a short version of this story :) So this is definitely a lengthy entry.
In the spirit of ADVENTURE - I found myself walking in a Swinger's Club in San Francisco with my guy (Sexy Mocha) ! First of all this place wasso low key - a secret path - tinted glass doors and no sign outside. The door was locked and we had to buzz in! It was $60 bucks for couples and $10 for single ladies and it's BYOB (Bring Your Own Beer/Drink). So we walked in - it's definitely myfirst time! Not only was I nervous but I realized as I walked in that I was dressed TOO sexy for the event! I mean what was I thinkin? I didn't want to get hit on by couples, I don't like girls getting too close to me and it would just be awkward to hook up with another guy! Yes sexy mocha and I were there not to swap with strangers but to watch and to be watched :) Although I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be opposed to a threesome. Lol.
We walked in and I was so nervous to make any eye contact with anyone. As we go on further, there was this man who looked like he was in his late 40's in linen pants and white tank top walking around in socks and I just get this predator vibe from him so I stick closer to my sexy mocha! Then the weirdo says "Sexy Dress" and without making any eye contact I said "Thanks" Whew! That was close. Then we turned in the six pack that he bought andthey assigned a number to it so you can keep coming back to the lady incharged of everyone's alcohol.
So this place is Called Twist corner of Kearny St and Columbus Ave. forthose who are interested. It has two floors - first floor for dancingand second floor for "play" - yes mmhmm. So we come in, there were maybe 5 other couples just sitting around and no one was dancing. We sit and watch one video screen with professional strippers and the other screen was hard core porn - which I was so uncomfortable watching. Then the old and so unattractive couple sitting by us started fondling with each other as they danced and I avoided all the eye contact that they were giving!
Then after all the awkward looks from others and the nervous talk (from sexymocha) we walked upstairs and found 2 couples in this "naked room"going at it! I couldn't believe my eyes! Butt Naked! I have never seen other people have sex live in the flesh! They offered complimentary massage and the masseuse turned out to be the creepy guy walking around in socks. He again said"sexy dress" I said "thanks" then kept it pushing - I wanted to run but that would have been immature.
So we peeked in the other sections with sofas and mattresses on theground that were only covered by sheer curtains and there were couples giving each other oral sex! We find a seat right next to this big round bed and we observed everybody else for a while. Then we couldn't help ourselves so I went ahead and gave him the job (if you know what Imean). I thought about wanting to get it reciprocated but something in me didn't want my butt touching any of their furniture (although"clean" towels were available) and I was a little shy and didn't want to spread my legs for everyone to see just like the other females were doing in that play room. So lucky for my sexy mocha he got a good job done! Lol
Enough about us! So later on, two older women maybe in their 40's, who were downstairs on the dance floor with their men jumped on the round bed surrounded by sheer curtains and started to go at it. OH MY!
Then in the glass door room on our left were 2 supersized women rubbing on each other with a black man with a Hatwatching right outside like a hawk. So when sexy mocha decided to go to the restroom, I walked right with him as I was nervous to be left alone. The restroom was by the massage section!!! Aaaahhh there goes the creepy guy! There was a woman on the massage table - butt naked -was she getting a massage? I guess you can call it that! The masseuse's fingers were all up in her while her boyfriend/guy was kissing her. She was going bananas and I was just so interested with how much more she could take of that! Lol Then the masseuse puts a condom on and f*&ks her! OH my!The boyfriend was holding her down because she was going bananas! Iwouldn't want to be that girl on that table! Lol
So we kept exploring, going back and forth by the different rooms and floors. Then sexy mocha had to go to the restroom again! I was standing right by the masseuse who was rubbing his feet. Then he says "Sexy dress! You should get a deep tissue massage!" I said "no thanks, I just had it done last week" and then I realized I was nervous enough to bore him with "... and I have these knots on my back and only my personal massage therapist could fix them" - after I said that I thought WTH was I talking about??? lol - I did not know what to say but I definitelydidn't want the massage that he was "referring" to! Eww, I can't imagine where else his hands has been - in someone's pu&&y, his d!@k, and his feet!Gross!
We go back in the room with the round bed and I got a little bit morecomfortable but not enough to be butt naked! I seduced my sexy mochaand took advantage of him ;). I guess I like the thought that we were beingwatch by others but we didn't reveal all of us, we still had as much clothes on as we can keep. I wore a dress for a reason :) Then a few minutes later I accidentally looked in the glass door and I saw the black man with the hat waving us in. I just waved back! Eww I didn'twant to be in a small room with two big women and a naked man with a HAT! -althought his body was bangin!
Then in the midst of all that there were two couples right by eachother - the ladies giving the men a blow job, then the men must've "came" at the same time because the next thing I knew the two men were screaming like they were in a football game! "yeahhh!" then gave each other high fives as the women were kissing! OMG! All that fluid exchange is not cool!
So we go on exploring between rooms again. then I find myself staring at what was once clearly separated sections of 3 different couples a few minutes before and when I came back around, I can't tell who was with who! They were involved in this big ass orgy! My goodness. I'm watching closely trying to see how they make that work! I even watched closely how a threesome really worked because I couldn't imagine myself in one! Like I said, I am not comfortable exploring with another female but IF I one day decide to explore... the female better be hot and beautiful because I only fawks with good looking people!! hahaha...
I think I'd come back still not sure if I can bare sharing my sexy mocha but I'm glad he enjoyed himself just with our lil play!
Sincerely,
I'ma A Diva from Seattle
http://confessionsofthe20somethinggals.blogspot.com/2009/04/my-first-swingers-club-experience-is-it.html
In the spirit of ADVENTURE - I found myself walking in a Swinger's Club in San Francisco with my guy (Sexy Mocha) ! First of all this place wasso low key - a secret path - tinted glass doors and no sign outside. The door was locked and we had to buzz in! It was $60 bucks for couples and $10 for single ladies and it's BYOB (Bring Your Own Beer/Drink). So we walked in - it's definitely myfirst time! Not only was I nervous but I realized as I walked in that I was dressed TOO sexy for the event! I mean what was I thinkin? I didn't want to get hit on by couples, I don't like girls getting too close to me and it would just be awkward to hook up with another guy! Yes sexy mocha and I were there not to swap with strangers but to watch and to be watched :) Although I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be opposed to a threesome. Lol.
We walked in and I was so nervous to make any eye contact with anyone. As we go on further, there was this man who looked like he was in his late 40's in linen pants and white tank top walking around in socks and I just get this predator vibe from him so I stick closer to my sexy mocha! Then the weirdo says "Sexy Dress" and without making any eye contact I said "Thanks" Whew! That was close. Then we turned in the six pack that he bought andthey assigned a number to it so you can keep coming back to the lady incharged of everyone's alcohol.
So this place is Called Twist corner of Kearny St and Columbus Ave. forthose who are interested. It has two floors - first floor for dancingand second floor for "play" - yes mmhmm. So we come in, there were maybe 5 other couples just sitting around and no one was dancing. We sit and watch one video screen with professional strippers and the other screen was hard core porn - which I was so uncomfortable watching. Then the old and so unattractive couple sitting by us started fondling with each other as they danced and I avoided all the eye contact that they were giving!
Then after all the awkward looks from others and the nervous talk (from sexymocha) we walked upstairs and found 2 couples in this "naked room"going at it! I couldn't believe my eyes! Butt Naked! I have never seen other people have sex live in the flesh! They offered complimentary massage and the masseuse turned out to be the creepy guy walking around in socks. He again said"sexy dress" I said "thanks" then kept it pushing - I wanted to run but that would have been immature.
So we peeked in the other sections with sofas and mattresses on theground that were only covered by sheer curtains and there were couples giving each other oral sex! We find a seat right next to this big round bed and we observed everybody else for a while. Then we couldn't help ourselves so I went ahead and gave him the job (if you know what Imean). I thought about wanting to get it reciprocated but something in me didn't want my butt touching any of their furniture (although"clean" towels were available) and I was a little shy and didn't want to spread my legs for everyone to see just like the other females were doing in that play room. So lucky for my sexy mocha he got a good job done! Lol
Enough about us! So later on, two older women maybe in their 40's, who were downstairs on the dance floor with their men jumped on the round bed surrounded by sheer curtains and started to go at it. OH MY!
Then in the glass door room on our left were 2 supersized women rubbing on each other with a black man with a Hatwatching right outside like a hawk. So when sexy mocha decided to go to the restroom, I walked right with him as I was nervous to be left alone. The restroom was by the massage section!!! Aaaahhh there goes the creepy guy! There was a woman on the massage table - butt naked -was she getting a massage? I guess you can call it that! The masseuse's fingers were all up in her while her boyfriend/guy was kissing her. She was going bananas and I was just so interested with how much more she could take of that! Lol Then the masseuse puts a condom on and f*&ks her! OH my!The boyfriend was holding her down because she was going bananas! Iwouldn't want to be that girl on that table! Lol
So we kept exploring, going back and forth by the different rooms and floors. Then sexy mocha had to go to the restroom again! I was standing right by the masseuse who was rubbing his feet. Then he says "Sexy dress! You should get a deep tissue massage!" I said "no thanks, I just had it done last week" and then I realized I was nervous enough to bore him with "... and I have these knots on my back and only my personal massage therapist could fix them" - after I said that I thought WTH was I talking about??? lol - I did not know what to say but I definitelydidn't want the massage that he was "referring" to! Eww, I can't imagine where else his hands has been - in someone's pu&&y, his d!@k, and his feet!Gross!
We go back in the room with the round bed and I got a little bit morecomfortable but not enough to be butt naked! I seduced my sexy mochaand took advantage of him ;). I guess I like the thought that we were beingwatch by others but we didn't reveal all of us, we still had as much clothes on as we can keep. I wore a dress for a reason :) Then a few minutes later I accidentally looked in the glass door and I saw the black man with the hat waving us in. I just waved back! Eww I didn'twant to be in a small room with two big women and a naked man with a HAT! -althought his body was bangin!
Then in the midst of all that there were two couples right by eachother - the ladies giving the men a blow job, then the men must've "came" at the same time because the next thing I knew the two men were screaming like they were in a football game! "yeahhh!" then gave each other high fives as the women were kissing! OMG! All that fluid exchange is not cool!
So we go on exploring between rooms again. then I find myself staring at what was once clearly separated sections of 3 different couples a few minutes before and when I came back around, I can't tell who was with who! They were involved in this big ass orgy! My goodness. I'm watching closely trying to see how they make that work! I even watched closely how a threesome really worked because I couldn't imagine myself in one! Like I said, I am not comfortable exploring with another female but IF I one day decide to explore... the female better be hot and beautiful because I only fawks with good looking people!! hahaha...
I think I'd come back still not sure if I can bare sharing my sexy mocha but I'm glad he enjoyed himself just with our lil play!
Sincerely,
I'ma A Diva from Seattle
http://confessionsofthe20somethinggals.blogspot.com/2009/04/my-first-swingers-club-experience-is-it.html
My First Sex Toy
Roadie traveled a lot when the kids were younger and I naturally got lonely and very sexually frustrated. One day I received a catalog in the mail (yes, this was before the internet). I wasn’t sure what it was when I got it, but the name Xanadu intrigued me. Wow, was I surprised!
You see in my teenage years during the mid-70’s and early 80’s in conservative Texas asking a boy out on a date was being a bit slutty. So the discussion of dildos and vibrators between mothers and daughters – much less girlfriends – was totally out of the question. We just thought petting in the backseat of the car and running to ‘third base’ was all we could do til marriage. I didn’t even know about sex toys.
So I opened the pages to a whole new world. There were products listed and pictured that I had no idea where you stuck them or what they were suppose to do. Some items made me excited and others just made me want to run for the soap and water. I wasn’t sure if these would help my frustration, but I was willing to find out.
I purchased my first sex toy, a pink dildo. It was oddly large and I was doubtful I could use the whole thing. It had no moving parts inside and required a lot of work to get me excited. Sadly, I didn’t even know about lubrication gels. Needless to say my first experience was a bust.
After several months of trying to make the toy work I gave up and threw it away. A year later and still being a virtual roadie widow, I decided I may have cut my experience short and I should try something different. I purchased another dildo and again it was pink and huge, but this time it had a tiny vibrator located at the bottom of the shaft. This made all the difference in the world. I discovered I am a clit girl and life has not been the same since.
The BulletMy next sex toy was the old trusty bullet and OH MY GOD that was the magic bullet. These small (hardly intimidating) and inexpensive vibrating shaped eggs are intensely strong and easy to use. This soon became the most important toy in my sexscapades with Roadie. Next we experimented with vibrating butterflies, remote-control vibrating panties, cock rings with vibrators and the list goes on with much satisfaction.
So if I had not tried a second time, I may have never found my true hot spot and never had the amazing sexual awakening that I am now experiencing. If you have not added a sex toy to your bedroom games yet, give one a try. You can start small with bullets, dildos or rabbits and move up to the more complex products out on the market today. I guarantee you can find something you and your partner like and sex will be so much better.
http://www.awakeningtara.com/stories/my-first-sex-toy/
Tara Posted
You see in my teenage years during the mid-70’s and early 80’s in conservative Texas asking a boy out on a date was being a bit slutty. So the discussion of dildos and vibrators between mothers and daughters – much less girlfriends – was totally out of the question. We just thought petting in the backseat of the car and running to ‘third base’ was all we could do til marriage. I didn’t even know about sex toys.
So I opened the pages to a whole new world. There were products listed and pictured that I had no idea where you stuck them or what they were suppose to do. Some items made me excited and others just made me want to run for the soap and water. I wasn’t sure if these would help my frustration, but I was willing to find out.
I purchased my first sex toy, a pink dildo. It was oddly large and I was doubtful I could use the whole thing. It had no moving parts inside and required a lot of work to get me excited. Sadly, I didn’t even know about lubrication gels. Needless to say my first experience was a bust.
After several months of trying to make the toy work I gave up and threw it away. A year later and still being a virtual roadie widow, I decided I may have cut my experience short and I should try something different. I purchased another dildo and again it was pink and huge, but this time it had a tiny vibrator located at the bottom of the shaft. This made all the difference in the world. I discovered I am a clit girl and life has not been the same since.
The BulletMy next sex toy was the old trusty bullet and OH MY GOD that was the magic bullet. These small (hardly intimidating) and inexpensive vibrating shaped eggs are intensely strong and easy to use. This soon became the most important toy in my sexscapades with Roadie. Next we experimented with vibrating butterflies, remote-control vibrating panties, cock rings with vibrators and the list goes on with much satisfaction.
So if I had not tried a second time, I may have never found my true hot spot and never had the amazing sexual awakening that I am now experiencing. If you have not added a sex toy to your bedroom games yet, give one a try. You can start small with bullets, dildos or rabbits and move up to the more complex products out on the market today. I guarantee you can find something you and your partner like and sex will be so much better.
http://www.awakeningtara.com/stories/my-first-sex-toy/
Tara Posted
Violent sex
I am only turned on by extremely violent, dominating sex in which I am the abused or the dominated. In movies and books, I am aroused by rape scenes and I find myself imagining that I am the victim. I have dealt with these issues ever since my youth - my very first sexual fantasies were of being publicly raped and mutilated, spectators laughing at my pain. I gather no satisfaction from socially accepted "normal" sex. In masturbation, I suffocate or choke myself to reach high levels of excitement. Effective, enjoyable foreplay consists of wrestling and verbal and physical abuse that can leave bruises for weeks. I know this isn't normal, and this desire to be completely dominated and mistreated interferes with several aspects of my life, especially my relationships - how do I ask a partner to abuse me, not just to be rough but to really cause me intense pain? Is there any way that I can rid myself of this socially unacceptable persistent desire and learn to find satisfaction from gentle, loving sex? If not, how do I reveal what I really want to people that I am with without freaking them out?
Celeste Celeste
http://community.mentalhelp.net/showthread.php?t=679
Celeste Celeste
http://community.mentalhelp.net/showthread.php?t=679
Do Women Enjoy Anal Sex?
I have only in the last year returned to the "single life" after 15 years of marriage. I had never had anal sex with my husband, nor had it ever been an issue. Now that I am dating again, I am told that anal sex is commonly practiced. I'm certainly not saying that there is anything wrong with it, it's just that the men that I have met are taken by surprise that I had never had anal sex before now and that I have don't consider it to be something I really enjoy, or perhaps I am just new to it and it scares me a little. A man that I have been seeing a while tells me that he has dated many woman that wanted mainly anal sex.Please don't feel that this post is judgemental in anyway, I'm just wanting female points of view on anal sex and perhaps good or bad experiences in order to form my own opinion. At the end of the day, I realize that one does whatever they are comfortable doing..." from JO1704
By Tracee Cornforth, About.com Guide October 3, 2003
http://womenshealth.about.com/b/2003/10/03/men-say-women-want-anal-sex.htm
By Tracee Cornforth, About.com Guide October 3, 2003
http://womenshealth.about.com/b/2003/10/03/men-say-women-want-anal-sex.htm
My husband wants to make a sex tape!
My husband (for 3 years) wants us to make a sex tape for his birthday (hes turning 28). We have no kids yet (we're still talking about it). I told him to dream on. I dont want to get out and then everyone will i'm a slut. He promise he'll get a safe so no one will see it. I do trust him but I think sex tapes are sick and wrong. Hes now starting think I dont trust. I'm willing to have sex with him but without a camera. What should I do
http://www.dearcupid.org
http://www.dearcupid.org
2011. június 13., hétfő
My First Lesbian Sex
It was a really hot sunny day on the island of Crete as I lay with my friend Laura near the hotel pool. My boyfriend steve and her husband had gone off to a bar where they could watch a football match on wide-screen TV. We had met Laura and Geoff just a week previously. We hired a car and toured the island together, seeking out remote bays and beaches, even indulging in some skinny dipping. I had been attracted to girls since I was about 12 years old and seeing Laura naked really made me tingle and I was sure she noticed me staring at her. She was older than me at 28, whilst I was 21. We sipped our drinks by the pool as the day got hotter until Laura suggested we go inside and cool off.
We sat in the bar and ordered fresh drinks, but soon Laura said she needed a shower and suggested we take our drinks up to their room. Laura went into the bathroom as I sat on her bed. Ten minutes later emerged from the bathroom wrapped in a large bath sheet and sat brushing her hair before the mirror. She stood up with both hands raised doing her hair.
The bath sheet loosened and fell to the floor, leaving her standing naked right in front of me.
My eyes took in her gorgeous figure, her firm breasts and her neatly trimmed bush. Something in her eyes told me the loss of the bath sheet was no accident. She moved towards me, still brushing her long hair, then leaned down and kissed me on the lips. I was shocked at first and turned away, but she put a finger under my chin, turning and raising my face, then leaning down and kissing me again. This time I responded and we fell into a warm, wonderful, sensual kiss which seemed to go on and on, our tongues dancing together. Laura pushed me back on to the bed so I was lying with my legs hanging over the side, my feet touching the floor. She climbed on top of me, her legs astride my waist.
She leaned down and kissed me softly again, then lifted my top, pushing it up and exposing my bare breasts. My senses were in turmoil and I gasped loudly when I felt her soft lips close over one of my nipples, which quickly became swollen.
I lay beathing heavily as she moved from breast to breast, nipple to nipple, before slowly moving down to kneel on the floor. She reached up and pulled down my short skirt, followed by my skimpy white panties. I gasped loudly as I felt her lips brush softly over my warm wet slit and again as I felt her tongue parting my folds and probing inside me. I arched my back and gripped the bed as her lips moved to my swollen personal placety and her fingers slipped in and out of me. Very soon the waves built up inside me and my legs wrapped around her, my body shaking and trembing as the most intense orgasms I ever had washed over me.
Afterwards, we lay together on the bed holding each other, my body still in shock and trembling. My heart racing. I had never felt so fulfilled. I knew I had to return the favours and it took me quite a time to get the courage to make the move, but I knew I had to do it, so I looked into her eyes and kissed her deeply, then moved down her body to toy and tease her nipples. Time was short and the guys could come home anytime, so I moved on, toying and flicking over her until I reached her soft bush.
I nuzzled my nose through the soft hair. I could smell her arousal and pushed her legs further apart so I could peek at her. I had never seen another girl's softness so close before, let along smelled one. I leaned forward and ran the tip of my tongue down her moist lips, then pressing betwen them I toyed back up along the whole length. Laura's hands gripped my hair as I pushed my tongue deep into her warm wet warmth. This was my first ever taste of another girl and I wanted more.
I toyed and probed in and around her love before moving to her personal placety where I toyed over it with my tongue, feeling her whole body tense as she cried out. Closing my lips around it I sucked hard and flicked my tongue over her hard nubbin as my fingers found her wet warmth and pushed deep inside, finger playing her deep and fast as my lips and tongue tormented her personal placety. Laura's body began to tense and she arched her back, her hands pulling me hard against her softness, crying out as her orgasm tore through her. I eased back, my lips kissing softly up and down her wet lips, soaked with the juices that had just flooded from her.
I looked again at her swollen wide open softness before moving back to lie in each others arms. All too soon we got dressed and tried to look normal before the guys came back. Steve and I split up very soon after we got home. I had found myself at last.
Laura had shown me what I knew I always wanted and there was no turning back.
We only got one more opportunity to have sex again before the holiday ended and despite exchanging addresses and phones, we never met again. With Laura I had my first lesbian sex, but it would by no means be my last.
http://www.myfreeeroticstories.com/Fetish_My_First_Lesbian_Sex1.html
We sat in the bar and ordered fresh drinks, but soon Laura said she needed a shower and suggested we take our drinks up to their room. Laura went into the bathroom as I sat on her bed. Ten minutes later emerged from the bathroom wrapped in a large bath sheet and sat brushing her hair before the mirror. She stood up with both hands raised doing her hair.
The bath sheet loosened and fell to the floor, leaving her standing naked right in front of me.
My eyes took in her gorgeous figure, her firm breasts and her neatly trimmed bush. Something in her eyes told me the loss of the bath sheet was no accident. She moved towards me, still brushing her long hair, then leaned down and kissed me on the lips. I was shocked at first and turned away, but she put a finger under my chin, turning and raising my face, then leaning down and kissing me again. This time I responded and we fell into a warm, wonderful, sensual kiss which seemed to go on and on, our tongues dancing together. Laura pushed me back on to the bed so I was lying with my legs hanging over the side, my feet touching the floor. She climbed on top of me, her legs astride my waist.
She leaned down and kissed me softly again, then lifted my top, pushing it up and exposing my bare breasts. My senses were in turmoil and I gasped loudly when I felt her soft lips close over one of my nipples, which quickly became swollen.
I lay beathing heavily as she moved from breast to breast, nipple to nipple, before slowly moving down to kneel on the floor. She reached up and pulled down my short skirt, followed by my skimpy white panties. I gasped loudly as I felt her lips brush softly over my warm wet slit and again as I felt her tongue parting my folds and probing inside me. I arched my back and gripped the bed as her lips moved to my swollen personal placety and her fingers slipped in and out of me. Very soon the waves built up inside me and my legs wrapped around her, my body shaking and trembing as the most intense orgasms I ever had washed over me.
Afterwards, we lay together on the bed holding each other, my body still in shock and trembling. My heart racing. I had never felt so fulfilled. I knew I had to return the favours and it took me quite a time to get the courage to make the move, but I knew I had to do it, so I looked into her eyes and kissed her deeply, then moved down her body to toy and tease her nipples. Time was short and the guys could come home anytime, so I moved on, toying and flicking over her until I reached her soft bush.
I nuzzled my nose through the soft hair. I could smell her arousal and pushed her legs further apart so I could peek at her. I had never seen another girl's softness so close before, let along smelled one. I leaned forward and ran the tip of my tongue down her moist lips, then pressing betwen them I toyed back up along the whole length. Laura's hands gripped my hair as I pushed my tongue deep into her warm wet warmth. This was my first ever taste of another girl and I wanted more.
I toyed and probed in and around her love before moving to her personal placety where I toyed over it with my tongue, feeling her whole body tense as she cried out. Closing my lips around it I sucked hard and flicked my tongue over her hard nubbin as my fingers found her wet warmth and pushed deep inside, finger playing her deep and fast as my lips and tongue tormented her personal placety. Laura's body began to tense and she arched her back, her hands pulling me hard against her softness, crying out as her orgasm tore through her. I eased back, my lips kissing softly up and down her wet lips, soaked with the juices that had just flooded from her.
I looked again at her swollen wide open softness before moving back to lie in each others arms. All too soon we got dressed and tried to look normal before the guys came back. Steve and I split up very soon after we got home. I had found myself at last.
Laura had shown me what I knew I always wanted and there was no turning back.
We only got one more opportunity to have sex again before the holiday ended and despite exchanging addresses and phones, we never met again. With Laura I had my first lesbian sex, but it would by no means be my last.
http://www.myfreeeroticstories.com/Fetish_My_First_Lesbian_Sex1.html
firts date
Relationships
Relationships 7 Things You Should Never Talk About On A First Date
7 Things You Should Never Talk About On A First Date
By Mybrotha.COM Staff Writer
Print
E-mail
Facebook
Tweet
inShare
Comments
We don't want to tell you brothas how to live and love, but some of you are totally off-base when embarking on a first date. No worries though. If you're willing to listen, we're here to help straighten things out.
Follow these 7 simple guidelines to help create a great first date experience, and to help save your skull from certain torture!
Shut-Up! - Don't talk so much. Period. Especially about yourself. Women love it when you're curious about them and show an interest in giving them attention. They also love a man who can hold a decent conversation. You could talk about politics, your careers, the ridiculous gas prices, or why the Fugees broke up. Doesn't really matter what subjects you choose, as long as they're not boring. They also shouldn't include anything in the remaining 6 steps.
Sex - Should we even have to explain this one? Sex is a touchy subject with women. They either love to talk about it, or they hate the mentioning of it. If your date likes talking about it, let her initiate the topic. Never be the first to strike up stories about sex.
Furthermore, if she skews the conversation towards sex, be careful. Don't talk about past conquests, or start throwing terms like, "one-night-stand" and "hotel chandelier" out there. You may never live it down.
should the two of you decide to explore a more meaningful relationship, there will be plenty of time to converse on what your likes and dislikes are.
The Ex - For all of you brothas who have talked about your ex's on a first date, either because you hadn't gotten over your ex, or because you were just crazy enough to initiate the subject, we will be sending a professional hit squad to your current location...(free of charge)! We have no problem doing this for you, since you have obviously chosen to initiate your own demise by talking about an ex. This is a big no-no.
Unlike many men, sistas don't usually care about your past. Especially when it comes to your ex's. Even if you have a few indescretions from back in the day, women look for new beginnings. They figure, "He's hopefully concentrating on me now, so all others are irrelevant".
Personal Problems - You have to remember that she doesn't even know you. Your, "woe is me" sob stories, probably won't have much effect on her. Even if they trigger a response, you shouldn't talk about them.
On a first date, women look for security, stability, and intrigue. If you lose her interest by whining or complaining about how bad life is, you just may lose any chances you had with her.
Marriage - Believe it or not, this subject is off limits as well. You'd think sistas would love talking about parading down the aisle, but most women go out on dates to have fun and to learn a little about the guy they're spending time with. Talking about marriage and committing your life to her, is inappropriate for the moment.
Wait for a few months to even skirt around this subject. If she asks your opinions about marriage during your first date, give a short, concise answer stating whether or not you would like to be married someday. But don't profess your undying love for her when she doesn't even know what size shirt you wear.
Money - More than likely, she's got more of it than you do! Money is always a touchy subject and how much you've got in the bank, doesn't really impress women. Sure, there are a couple of money-hungry chicks around, but most sistas are more interested in character and potential.
If you're flashy and got mad cash in multiple bank accounts, it's nothing to be ashamed of. But never make it the center of conversation.
The on flip side, the words "budget" and "poor" should never come up. We're not saying you should lie about your financial situation, but you don't have to spell out your yearly salary either. Don't make her think you're a frugal, cheapo, with no intention of spending a penny in the future.
If you're not big ballin', it's okay. Most women would rather spend time with a brotha who's cool and got a little, than with one who's a jerk and got a lot.
Anything Negative - What more can we say about this one? If it's sad, derrogatory, mean-spirited, or otherwise negative, don't bring it up. Women like humor, peppered with positive and meaningful conversation.
Don't make the mistake of trying to solve the world's problems though. Good conversation doesn't always need to have a detailed purpose.
Talk about your ideas for a new business, or fun time you had visiting family during the holidays.
But if any part of the conversation takes on a negative tone, changing the subject to something more positive would be in your best interests.
Remember this: These are turn-offs for women on first dates. Some of these subjects may be more comfortable after you've spent more time hanging out. So if you want to make a good impression, study the list and make sure to stray away from these 7 no-no's.
http://www.mybrotha.com/7never_2.asp
Relationships 7 Things You Should Never Talk About On A First Date
7 Things You Should Never Talk About On A First Date
By Mybrotha.COM Staff Writer
Tweet
inShare
Comments
We don't want to tell you brothas how to live and love, but some of you are totally off-base when embarking on a first date. No worries though. If you're willing to listen, we're here to help straighten things out.
Follow these 7 simple guidelines to help create a great first date experience, and to help save your skull from certain torture!
Shut-Up! - Don't talk so much. Period. Especially about yourself. Women love it when you're curious about them and show an interest in giving them attention. They also love a man who can hold a decent conversation. You could talk about politics, your careers, the ridiculous gas prices, or why the Fugees broke up. Doesn't really matter what subjects you choose, as long as they're not boring. They also shouldn't include anything in the remaining 6 steps.
Sex - Should we even have to explain this one? Sex is a touchy subject with women. They either love to talk about it, or they hate the mentioning of it. If your date likes talking about it, let her initiate the topic. Never be the first to strike up stories about sex.
Furthermore, if she skews the conversation towards sex, be careful. Don't talk about past conquests, or start throwing terms like, "one-night-stand" and "hotel chandelier" out there. You may never live it down.
should the two of you decide to explore a more meaningful relationship, there will be plenty of time to converse on what your likes and dislikes are.
The Ex - For all of you brothas who have talked about your ex's on a first date, either because you hadn't gotten over your ex, or because you were just crazy enough to initiate the subject, we will be sending a professional hit squad to your current location...(free of charge)! We have no problem doing this for you, since you have obviously chosen to initiate your own demise by talking about an ex. This is a big no-no.
Unlike many men, sistas don't usually care about your past. Especially when it comes to your ex's. Even if you have a few indescretions from back in the day, women look for new beginnings. They figure, "He's hopefully concentrating on me now, so all others are irrelevant".
Personal Problems - You have to remember that she doesn't even know you. Your, "woe is me" sob stories, probably won't have much effect on her. Even if they trigger a response, you shouldn't talk about them.
On a first date, women look for security, stability, and intrigue. If you lose her interest by whining or complaining about how bad life is, you just may lose any chances you had with her.
Marriage - Believe it or not, this subject is off limits as well. You'd think sistas would love talking about parading down the aisle, but most women go out on dates to have fun and to learn a little about the guy they're spending time with. Talking about marriage and committing your life to her, is inappropriate for the moment.
Wait for a few months to even skirt around this subject. If she asks your opinions about marriage during your first date, give a short, concise answer stating whether or not you would like to be married someday. But don't profess your undying love for her when she doesn't even know what size shirt you wear.
Money - More than likely, she's got more of it than you do! Money is always a touchy subject and how much you've got in the bank, doesn't really impress women. Sure, there are a couple of money-hungry chicks around, but most sistas are more interested in character and potential.
If you're flashy and got mad cash in multiple bank accounts, it's nothing to be ashamed of. But never make it the center of conversation.
The on flip side, the words "budget" and "poor" should never come up. We're not saying you should lie about your financial situation, but you don't have to spell out your yearly salary either. Don't make her think you're a frugal, cheapo, with no intention of spending a penny in the future.
If you're not big ballin', it's okay. Most women would rather spend time with a brotha who's cool and got a little, than with one who's a jerk and got a lot.
Anything Negative - What more can we say about this one? If it's sad, derrogatory, mean-spirited, or otherwise negative, don't bring it up. Women like humor, peppered with positive and meaningful conversation.
Don't make the mistake of trying to solve the world's problems though. Good conversation doesn't always need to have a detailed purpose.
Talk about your ideas for a new business, or fun time you had visiting family during the holidays.
But if any part of the conversation takes on a negative tone, changing the subject to something more positive would be in your best interests.
Remember this: These are turn-offs for women on first dates. Some of these subjects may be more comfortable after you've spent more time hanging out. So if you want to make a good impression, study the list and make sure to stray away from these 7 no-no's.
http://www.mybrotha.com/7never_2.asp
2 be or not 2 be
How To Become A Porn Star
Learn How It Really Works & Who To Contact
The porn industry is the most competitive that it has ever been due to the economy. It is very hard to get a legitimate job in the adult industry as a porn actor let alone be an A-list porn star.
This article provides you with some helpful, yet realistic information that you should be aware of before you try and get a job in porn or in the Adult Industry. We have provided this article to help people make informed decisions about what it really takes to get involved in porn and how to protect yourself.
The best resource on how to become a porn star is through our online porn directory manual which offers everything you need on how to apply to become a porn star along with help getting your application approved with multiple porn production companies. We provide you with information at the end of this article on how to access it.
Within the manual we will provide studio directories, application tips, scam alerts and how to avoid them and much more.
Please take the time to read this article all the way through as it has a lot of helpful information within it.
Lisa Lawless
By Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist & Sex Expert
CEO & Founder of
Holistic Wisdom, Inc. & NAASAS
Copyright: Holistic Wisdom- Do NOT Copy Warning
Copyright Š Holistic Wisdom, Inc.
Please Do Not Contact Us
Directly To Hire You
See our Porn Studio Directory- at bottom of the article for studio contact information. Please take the time to read this article as it is information you will need to know.
Is It Right For You?
What we first must say to you is that if you are considering it, you must be over 18 in the USA to even contemplate it. In some countries that is different, but for the most part the legal age is 18. Porn should only be an option if it is between consenting adults and is promoted in that manner. It should also provide safety to the actors to prevent them from getting STDs or other health related problems. It is important that if you are looking for a career in porn that you seek out studios that will honor these things for your legal and physical protection as well as your personal safety.
However, beyond chronological age, the most important issue that must first be addressed is if it is right for you to do. It is going to be important to think about this choice as a life changing career. Make sure that you do not do so impulsively and that you are certain and have confidence that this is the right decision for you. Understand that this is not a career that you can take lightly and that your health and very life are something that you will have to protect through STD testing, verifications and safe sex practices while partaking in it.
Also keep in mind that film really is forever and that once you do this even under an alias, you could be discovered by family, friends and even an employer. In fact, just recently, many porn stars real identities were hacked into and their names and addresses were posted by this hacker on the Internet. They not only posted the names and addresses of the porn actors but also their families information as well. Remember that what you are doing is public and permanent when it comes to the ability to access this information, so do not take this choice lightly.
Porn actors are often not paid much unless they are an A-list actor and are often encouraged to do more intense sex acts such as double anal and group sex scenes. If you are unsure as to whether you want to perform in a porn movie, it might be good to get a job working for a porn studio so that you can see for yourself what is involved. You can try and volunteer as an assistant or even a fluffer (someone who helps to stimulate the male actors before shooting).
Most porn actors are asked to do performances with both sexes and you will want to consider your comfort level with this before you apply. If you are not comfortable with that, make sure to apply to only those studios that do the type of films you want. You can also outline in your application what you are and are not willing to do so that they do not waste your time and you do not waste theirs with an interview that will lead no where.
Avoiding Scams
Be careful not to fall victim to scams as we warn people about in more detail within our porn directory and manual (available below). There a many people posing as porn studios and porn agents who have some rather seedy and manipulative ways to trick you out of money, have you sign unfair contracts and even get you to give out sexual acts for free without ever paying you a cent. You really need to read what we are telling you in this article. It is also very helpful to access our directory and manual if you are serious as we are the only company that has gone to the level of providing helpful resources and information to give you access to legitimate porn studios and agents as well as provide you with tips and resources that will keep you safe and allow you to be paid.
How Hard Is It To Be A Porn Actor?
For a few lucky ones it can be a remarkably easy thing to achieve, but for most, it is a very difficult endeavor. Especially for those that dream of one day becoming an A-list porn star. One thing that you really need to understand is that it is much more difficult for a man to get involved in porn than it is for women. However, women are sometimes shocked that it is more difficult than they thought as well.
To become a porn star, you need to educate yourself on the adult industry, do research and network. You cannot make it if you do not do those things. In addition, if you do not do your homework, you most likely will end up a victim of a scam, not get paid or get an STD. It is imperative that you get educated about your rights and learn how to go about doing things in a manner that will protect you and help you to make it.
Let us give you an example of the kind of person that is not going to make it. On this page (three times) and in our porn directory manual we clearly post that we do not produce porn and ask for people not to contact us. Rather, we ask that they contact the porn studio contacts, agent contacts and resources in the directory we provide as they are supposed to. Yet daily, we get people contacting us letting us know they want a job and are ready to be a porn star. These poor souls obviously do not even have the patience to read this article let alone our directory and manual.
You have to be ready to take time to do some research if you are going to take a job in porn seriously and if you do not have the patience to even read through an article like this one... we will just save you some time and let you know right now, you are not going to make it. However, if you do and have what it takes then you may very well be able to break into the Adult Industry and do well.
Amateur Porn Vs. Professional Porn
Clearly it is easier to get involved in amateur porn than it is to get involved in professional porn as the money and expectations are much lower and the availability is much easier to obtain. If you are serious about getting involved you are going to need to know who the major players are and know the differences between a content buyer, distributors and studios. You will want to study up on legal issues to avoid, what to look for in a contract. how to successfully network and where to find those resources. That is why we put together a directory and online manual.
Most people put their home movies on the Internet, but it is a mistake to think that it will make a load of money with so much competition not to mention scrapers and hackers that will steal your content. It may be better to find a reputable content buyer and arrange a deal so that they can protect your content while arranging site traffic and you can get paid well for it. Also see our Get Rich Selling Amateur Adult Videos or Pics Online article.
Where Are The Porn Studios?
Many people assume that you have to move to California, however, there are porn studios all over the world. In fact, you may be surprised at where some of the studios are located. Here are some examples from our porn studio directory-
USA-
Los Angeles, CA Las Vegas, NV New York City, NY Newark, NJ Chicago, IL
Scottsdale, AZ Portland, OR San Diego, CA San Francisco, CA Seattle, WA
Tampa, FL Orlando, FL Miami, FL Flushing, NY Fort Lauderdale, FL
International-
Spain Italy Nederlands England Mexico
Serbia Japan Switzerland Germany Canada
Austria Holland
Men Who Want To Be Porn Stars
Men are often judged more harshly than women as you will not just be evaluated by your looks and how big your penis is; but you will also have to be able to be highly capable when it comes to performance. You will have to have orgasms on command, get erect, stay erect and show a great deal of stamina. You should make sure you are well practiced. We recommend using something like a Fleshlight Stamina Unit to practice on if you do not have a partner.
Many men try to get into the porn industry and most fail. One of the ways that you can try to break into the business is to hitch yourself to a beautiful woman who is also going to get into porn. Let her get in first and then have her help you once she is successful. It is a business of who you know and having someone on the inside can be highly advantageous.
The Cold Harsh Truth For Men
If you are lucky enough to get into the porn industry with a successful porn studio, you are most likely not going to get paid nearly as well as the female stars with you. Guys are often thought of as scenery when it comes to straight porn and are not as valued monetarily for their contributions. So, you will be judged on your looks, penis size and performance and not paid as well as a females for straight porn. There ya go, don't say we did not warn you.
If you really want to make money, you are going to have to explore doing gay porn, but even then it is very competitive and having a look such as a young buck or a sweet bear will help.
How Women Are Judged & Can Prepare
You will be judged by a great deal more than men as they will be looking at your face, breast size, shape and overall look as well as your vaginal appearance, body - for tone, fat, skin color, hygiene - pubic hair, etc. You may want to ask before a shoot what they prefer regarding pubic hair so you can get it the way they desire it. Also having long hair on your head is preferable as well as nicely done nails. You should also have some acting ability especially when it comes to giving a convincing orgasm. Bringing lubricant and hygiene products such as a douche, wipes and other such things to clean up after scenes is always a great idea. Like men you will have to be tested for STDs and deal with long filming days.
Top Ten Rules When Working In Porn
1.
Understand That Images Will Last Forever
Once you are on film your work will be out there for the whole world to see and will remain available should the distributor choose. Even if your video is discontinued it will still be out there and may even become pirated and viewable illegally. Not only that but the pictures promoting the film may not only be used by the distributors but may be easily copied by anyone who visits the web sites selling them.
You will also run the risk of someday having a friend or family member and/or employer seeing your photo or video. Is their reaction something that you will be able to handle? Read about what happened with us for simply becoming sex educators in our article- Risks Of Working In Sexual Health
2.
Be Current In Testing For STDs
When working on a porn shoot they will most likely want you to show that you are STD free. They will want proof via paperwork within 30 days. Often times if you show up without paperwork they will not let you film. You should not film with someone who does not have their paperwork either. Also remember that just because someone is tested they may have been with a personal sexual partner that gave them an STD in-between the time they last worked and may not be STD free. This is one of the risks of doing this type of job.
3.
Have Proper Identification
You are going to have to have proper identification in order to do any type of legitimate work within the porn industry. You will need two forms of identification with photos on them These are required by law. You are also required to hold up your ID and be photographed with it. If you do not show up with your IDs then you will be sent home.
4.
Have Good Personal Hygiene
You are going to want to be clean when you show up to work so make sure to bathe, douche, have your pubic area in good condition and look as though you have some pride in your appearance. You should also bring hygiene products to freshen up with in-between takes such as baby wipes, etc.
Pubic Hair - The best thing to do is to wax, laser or use electrolysis. Razors leave rashes and ingrown hairs.
Body Makeup - This can be used to cover any blemishes that you might have on your body. If you do a lot of work you may have to cover bruising.
Don't Forget Your Behind - Anal bleach may be a good call and something you can pick up at a local drugstore.
Porn Star Tip- One thing to keep in mind is that studios looking for A-list porn stars prefer that their actors do not have tattoos. If you are considering getting one- don't. If you have one, consider removal or not featuring it. If you are not shooting for the glamor of an A-list porn star status, this may not be an issue.
5.
Be Punctual & Quick To Perform The Way You Are Asked To
This is a job and you are going to treat it as such. Be professional, get there early and make sure that you have brought the things that you will need such as hygiene products, costumes and other things that you have been told to bring. Even if you are the star of the shoot, you have other people such as costars, gaffers, film crew, the director, makeup and wardrobe crew that are all having to be paid to be there. The last thing you want to do is not be prepared as it will give you a bad reputation and could lead to loss of a job or work in the long run. Again, this is a business and you must treat it as such or you will not be asked back. The old adage of time is money is never more true on a film set so make sure you respect others if you want work. Do not just blow off a shoot, make sure you call in advance to turn it down.
6.
You Are Being Paid To Be Cooperative
Remember that the screenwriter, producer and director have hired you to do a project that they envision. Most of them have spent hours developing a project that you could ruin in minutes by being uncooperative. Although most filmmakers will listen to constructive criticism, or ask for some creative input, be very tactful and never forget that they are paying you to be in their project, not the opposite. Also be courteous, friendly and respectful of your coworkers. Prima donna attitudes are not tolerated easily.
7.
Do Only The Sex Acts You Want To
Make sure that you are well informed about the studio that is hiring you to do work. When you do an interview make sure to ask what sex acts will be expected before you go so that there is no misunderstanding about what you are willing to do. You have the right to say no at any time, however try not to wait until you are doing a scene to change your mind. You are costing them money and time and this will not go over well for your professional reputation. That is why we encourage you to really think this through BEFORE you do it.
8.
Don't Perform On A Non-tested Professional
You do not have to perform sex acts in order to get a job. Most legitimate talent and casting agents, directors and producers are not required to get HIV tests done and you should be very wary about sexually servicing them for a job. You should be hired on the basis of your looks, talent, professionalism and availability. Remember that even if you do give in and provide free sex that you may still not end up with a job.
9.
Don't Sign The Model Release Form Until You Have Payment
If you have not worked with a studio before, you may want to let them know that you won't sign the model release until you have payment to ensure that you are compensated. You will be playing hardball with them and may even risk a job, but the bottom line is that a video cannot be released until they have that paperwork and with porn producers you need to make sure that you protect yourself and get paid. What you may want to do is ask that they have your payment ready at the beginning of the shoot and you will sign the model release once your payment is given to you. Let them know that before the shoot so that there is no conflict on the day of filming.
10.
Be Loyal To Your Agent
If you get an agent, you should treat them as well as they have treated you. If they have set you up with a lot of jobs and great income than make sure you pay them in return through your loyalty.
Learn How It Really Works & Who To Contact
The porn industry is the most competitive that it has ever been due to the economy. It is very hard to get a legitimate job in the adult industry as a porn actor let alone be an A-list porn star.
This article provides you with some helpful, yet realistic information that you should be aware of before you try and get a job in porn or in the Adult Industry. We have provided this article to help people make informed decisions about what it really takes to get involved in porn and how to protect yourself.
The best resource on how to become a porn star is through our online porn directory manual which offers everything you need on how to apply to become a porn star along with help getting your application approved with multiple porn production companies. We provide you with information at the end of this article on how to access it.
Within the manual we will provide studio directories, application tips, scam alerts and how to avoid them and much more.
Please take the time to read this article all the way through as it has a lot of helpful information within it.
Lisa Lawless
By Lisa S. Lawless, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist & Sex Expert
CEO & Founder of
Holistic Wisdom, Inc. & NAASAS
Copyright: Holistic Wisdom- Do NOT Copy Warning
Copyright Š Holistic Wisdom, Inc.
Please Do Not Contact Us
Directly To Hire You
See our Porn Studio Directory- at bottom of the article for studio contact information. Please take the time to read this article as it is information you will need to know.
Is It Right For You?
What we first must say to you is that if you are considering it, you must be over 18 in the USA to even contemplate it. In some countries that is different, but for the most part the legal age is 18. Porn should only be an option if it is between consenting adults and is promoted in that manner. It should also provide safety to the actors to prevent them from getting STDs or other health related problems. It is important that if you are looking for a career in porn that you seek out studios that will honor these things for your legal and physical protection as well as your personal safety.
However, beyond chronological age, the most important issue that must first be addressed is if it is right for you to do. It is going to be important to think about this choice as a life changing career. Make sure that you do not do so impulsively and that you are certain and have confidence that this is the right decision for you. Understand that this is not a career that you can take lightly and that your health and very life are something that you will have to protect through STD testing, verifications and safe sex practices while partaking in it.
Also keep in mind that film really is forever and that once you do this even under an alias, you could be discovered by family, friends and even an employer. In fact, just recently, many porn stars real identities were hacked into and their names and addresses were posted by this hacker on the Internet. They not only posted the names and addresses of the porn actors but also their families information as well. Remember that what you are doing is public and permanent when it comes to the ability to access this information, so do not take this choice lightly.
Porn actors are often not paid much unless they are an A-list actor and are often encouraged to do more intense sex acts such as double anal and group sex scenes. If you are unsure as to whether you want to perform in a porn movie, it might be good to get a job working for a porn studio so that you can see for yourself what is involved. You can try and volunteer as an assistant or even a fluffer (someone who helps to stimulate the male actors before shooting).
Most porn actors are asked to do performances with both sexes and you will want to consider your comfort level with this before you apply. If you are not comfortable with that, make sure to apply to only those studios that do the type of films you want. You can also outline in your application what you are and are not willing to do so that they do not waste your time and you do not waste theirs with an interview that will lead no where.
Avoiding Scams
Be careful not to fall victim to scams as we warn people about in more detail within our porn directory and manual (available below). There a many people posing as porn studios and porn agents who have some rather seedy and manipulative ways to trick you out of money, have you sign unfair contracts and even get you to give out sexual acts for free without ever paying you a cent. You really need to read what we are telling you in this article. It is also very helpful to access our directory and manual if you are serious as we are the only company that has gone to the level of providing helpful resources and information to give you access to legitimate porn studios and agents as well as provide you with tips and resources that will keep you safe and allow you to be paid.
How Hard Is It To Be A Porn Actor?
For a few lucky ones it can be a remarkably easy thing to achieve, but for most, it is a very difficult endeavor. Especially for those that dream of one day becoming an A-list porn star. One thing that you really need to understand is that it is much more difficult for a man to get involved in porn than it is for women. However, women are sometimes shocked that it is more difficult than they thought as well.
To become a porn star, you need to educate yourself on the adult industry, do research and network. You cannot make it if you do not do those things. In addition, if you do not do your homework, you most likely will end up a victim of a scam, not get paid or get an STD. It is imperative that you get educated about your rights and learn how to go about doing things in a manner that will protect you and help you to make it.
Let us give you an example of the kind of person that is not going to make it. On this page (three times) and in our porn directory manual we clearly post that we do not produce porn and ask for people not to contact us. Rather, we ask that they contact the porn studio contacts, agent contacts and resources in the directory we provide as they are supposed to. Yet daily, we get people contacting us letting us know they want a job and are ready to be a porn star. These poor souls obviously do not even have the patience to read this article let alone our directory and manual.
You have to be ready to take time to do some research if you are going to take a job in porn seriously and if you do not have the patience to even read through an article like this one... we will just save you some time and let you know right now, you are not going to make it. However, if you do and have what it takes then you may very well be able to break into the Adult Industry and do well.
Amateur Porn Vs. Professional Porn
Clearly it is easier to get involved in amateur porn than it is to get involved in professional porn as the money and expectations are much lower and the availability is much easier to obtain. If you are serious about getting involved you are going to need to know who the major players are and know the differences between a content buyer, distributors and studios. You will want to study up on legal issues to avoid, what to look for in a contract. how to successfully network and where to find those resources. That is why we put together a directory and online manual.
Most people put their home movies on the Internet, but it is a mistake to think that it will make a load of money with so much competition not to mention scrapers and hackers that will steal your content. It may be better to find a reputable content buyer and arrange a deal so that they can protect your content while arranging site traffic and you can get paid well for it. Also see our Get Rich Selling Amateur Adult Videos or Pics Online article.
Where Are The Porn Studios?
Many people assume that you have to move to California, however, there are porn studios all over the world. In fact, you may be surprised at where some of the studios are located. Here are some examples from our porn studio directory-
USA-
Los Angeles, CA Las Vegas, NV New York City, NY Newark, NJ Chicago, IL
Scottsdale, AZ Portland, OR San Diego, CA San Francisco, CA Seattle, WA
Tampa, FL Orlando, FL Miami, FL Flushing, NY Fort Lauderdale, FL
International-
Spain Italy Nederlands England Mexico
Serbia Japan Switzerland Germany Canada
Austria Holland
Men Who Want To Be Porn Stars
Men are often judged more harshly than women as you will not just be evaluated by your looks and how big your penis is; but you will also have to be able to be highly capable when it comes to performance. You will have to have orgasms on command, get erect, stay erect and show a great deal of stamina. You should make sure you are well practiced. We recommend using something like a Fleshlight Stamina Unit to practice on if you do not have a partner.
Many men try to get into the porn industry and most fail. One of the ways that you can try to break into the business is to hitch yourself to a beautiful woman who is also going to get into porn. Let her get in first and then have her help you once she is successful. It is a business of who you know and having someone on the inside can be highly advantageous.
The Cold Harsh Truth For Men
If you are lucky enough to get into the porn industry with a successful porn studio, you are most likely not going to get paid nearly as well as the female stars with you. Guys are often thought of as scenery when it comes to straight porn and are not as valued monetarily for their contributions. So, you will be judged on your looks, penis size and performance and not paid as well as a females for straight porn. There ya go, don't say we did not warn you.
If you really want to make money, you are going to have to explore doing gay porn, but even then it is very competitive and having a look such as a young buck or a sweet bear will help.
How Women Are Judged & Can Prepare
You will be judged by a great deal more than men as they will be looking at your face, breast size, shape and overall look as well as your vaginal appearance, body - for tone, fat, skin color, hygiene - pubic hair, etc. You may want to ask before a shoot what they prefer regarding pubic hair so you can get it the way they desire it. Also having long hair on your head is preferable as well as nicely done nails. You should also have some acting ability especially when it comes to giving a convincing orgasm. Bringing lubricant and hygiene products such as a douche, wipes and other such things to clean up after scenes is always a great idea. Like men you will have to be tested for STDs and deal with long filming days.
Top Ten Rules When Working In Porn
1.
Understand That Images Will Last Forever
Once you are on film your work will be out there for the whole world to see and will remain available should the distributor choose. Even if your video is discontinued it will still be out there and may even become pirated and viewable illegally. Not only that but the pictures promoting the film may not only be used by the distributors but may be easily copied by anyone who visits the web sites selling them.
You will also run the risk of someday having a friend or family member and/or employer seeing your photo or video. Is their reaction something that you will be able to handle? Read about what happened with us for simply becoming sex educators in our article- Risks Of Working In Sexual Health
2.
Be Current In Testing For STDs
When working on a porn shoot they will most likely want you to show that you are STD free. They will want proof via paperwork within 30 days. Often times if you show up without paperwork they will not let you film. You should not film with someone who does not have their paperwork either. Also remember that just because someone is tested they may have been with a personal sexual partner that gave them an STD in-between the time they last worked and may not be STD free. This is one of the risks of doing this type of job.
3.
Have Proper Identification
You are going to have to have proper identification in order to do any type of legitimate work within the porn industry. You will need two forms of identification with photos on them These are required by law. You are also required to hold up your ID and be photographed with it. If you do not show up with your IDs then you will be sent home.
4.
Have Good Personal Hygiene
You are going to want to be clean when you show up to work so make sure to bathe, douche, have your pubic area in good condition and look as though you have some pride in your appearance. You should also bring hygiene products to freshen up with in-between takes such as baby wipes, etc.
Pubic Hair - The best thing to do is to wax, laser or use electrolysis. Razors leave rashes and ingrown hairs.
Body Makeup - This can be used to cover any blemishes that you might have on your body. If you do a lot of work you may have to cover bruising.
Don't Forget Your Behind - Anal bleach may be a good call and something you can pick up at a local drugstore.
Porn Star Tip- One thing to keep in mind is that studios looking for A-list porn stars prefer that their actors do not have tattoos. If you are considering getting one- don't. If you have one, consider removal or not featuring it. If you are not shooting for the glamor of an A-list porn star status, this may not be an issue.
5.
Be Punctual & Quick To Perform The Way You Are Asked To
This is a job and you are going to treat it as such. Be professional, get there early and make sure that you have brought the things that you will need such as hygiene products, costumes and other things that you have been told to bring. Even if you are the star of the shoot, you have other people such as costars, gaffers, film crew, the director, makeup and wardrobe crew that are all having to be paid to be there. The last thing you want to do is not be prepared as it will give you a bad reputation and could lead to loss of a job or work in the long run. Again, this is a business and you must treat it as such or you will not be asked back. The old adage of time is money is never more true on a film set so make sure you respect others if you want work. Do not just blow off a shoot, make sure you call in advance to turn it down.
6.
You Are Being Paid To Be Cooperative
Remember that the screenwriter, producer and director have hired you to do a project that they envision. Most of them have spent hours developing a project that you could ruin in minutes by being uncooperative. Although most filmmakers will listen to constructive criticism, or ask for some creative input, be very tactful and never forget that they are paying you to be in their project, not the opposite. Also be courteous, friendly and respectful of your coworkers. Prima donna attitudes are not tolerated easily.
7.
Do Only The Sex Acts You Want To
Make sure that you are well informed about the studio that is hiring you to do work. When you do an interview make sure to ask what sex acts will be expected before you go so that there is no misunderstanding about what you are willing to do. You have the right to say no at any time, however try not to wait until you are doing a scene to change your mind. You are costing them money and time and this will not go over well for your professional reputation. That is why we encourage you to really think this through BEFORE you do it.
8.
Don't Perform On A Non-tested Professional
You do not have to perform sex acts in order to get a job. Most legitimate talent and casting agents, directors and producers are not required to get HIV tests done and you should be very wary about sexually servicing them for a job. You should be hired on the basis of your looks, talent, professionalism and availability. Remember that even if you do give in and provide free sex that you may still not end up with a job.
9.
Don't Sign The Model Release Form Until You Have Payment
If you have not worked with a studio before, you may want to let them know that you won't sign the model release until you have payment to ensure that you are compensated. You will be playing hardball with them and may even risk a job, but the bottom line is that a video cannot be released until they have that paperwork and with porn producers you need to make sure that you protect yourself and get paid. What you may want to do is ask that they have your payment ready at the beginning of the shoot and you will sign the model release once your payment is given to you. Let them know that before the shoot so that there is no conflict on the day of filming.
10.
Be Loyal To Your Agent
If you get an agent, you should treat them as well as they have treated you. If they have set you up with a lot of jobs and great income than make sure you pay them in return through your loyalty.
Feliratkozás:
Megjegyzések (Atom)